New Amsterdam 5: Meets Mad Men

Interesting, mixed-bag fifth episode of New Amsterdam tonight...On the one hand ... It was good to see John telling Omar, a young jazzman in the 1960s, John's whole story of immortality. It's not completely clear why Omar would have believed such a[...]

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America's Next Top Model: The One With All The
Queens - Both Drag and Drama

This week on ANTM, drag queens hoot and holler, one of the girls gets a much needed lesson in personal hygeine, someone else gets called a racist, Dominique continues to refer to herself solely in the third person, Whitney does the splits, Tyra pulls a Winona, there's more lame kitchen drama, and Marvita admits that she's unsure of herself and starts to give up.

You heard it straight from the horse's mouth

This week opens up with the girls chilling at the house. Fatima is shocked (shocked!) that she was in the bottom two last week, so she starts practicing her runway walk. I love how there's a girl every season that thinks that like just because she's practicing and the other girls aren't that Tyra's gonna run right over with a cookie and whisk her along to the final two. This isn't junior high and no one's gonna inflate your grade with gratis homework points. Similarly, just because the other girls aren't practicing doesn't mean they'll be cut if they can still manage to rock their photo shoots. Meanwhile, Dominique starts running Dominique's mouth to anyone and everyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot about Dominique's perseverance and Dominique's continued awesomeness. Whitney's peeved and starts to do some exaggerated impersonations. Uh oh, trouble's a'brewin.In the bedroom, some of the other girls are chatting about the opposite sex and how super cool it is to hold hands with a guy but Marvita thinks that all boys have cooties. Right. Then, Aimee pulls out her Lisa Frank notebook and they all play MASH to figure out which celebrity hunk will be the babydaddy to their 999 rugrats. This is giving me flashbacks of my own junior high sleepovers. My friends and I actually played games where we'd "anonymously" write down who each other's best friend was and then read all of the answers out loud. Inevitably, at least one person wouldn't be chosen at all. When we got bored of that, we came up with craftier questions like who we'd eat first if we were stranded on a desert island without food. How's that for an elaborate way to indirectly call someone a porker? Honest to Tyra, this all happened. 11-year-old girls are bitches. And this was back in the mid 90s, so I can't imagine the heinous games girls today are playing. They're probably spending their post-kindergarten playdates plotting a smear campaign against Susie because she gave Billy a swallow of her Go-Gurt during snacktime AND because she's line leader again for the third week in a row. She just looks so smug when she holds her two fingers in the air signaling everyone to be quiet. Slut.Oh no! It looks like there's been an outbreak of chicken pox in the Top Model house, or at least I'm sure that's what Katarzyna's hoping that that's what we-the-viewers believe...

"Clearasil makes calamine lotion, right?"

The girls all hop in their fabcab - check it out, this is seriously what it's called - and head over to a super sketchy warehouse in Brooklyn where they're greeted by Benny Ninja and the "world-famous" supermodel Vendela. I've never heard of this chick but that's not saying a lot considering she looks like she's about to go meet up with my mom for a few laps of speedwalking around the mall. Is anyone else noticing that Vendela looks like she stepped right out of a Gap ad with this outfit? I was expecting some fierce supermodel fashions like the kind Paulina wears. Oh well. Also, apparently all it takes to be a "world-famous" supermodel is to be featured on some Scandanavian lifestyle magazine that appears to be called Damanas.

Rhymes with bananas?

Vendela and Benny will be teaching them the three Cs - commercial, catalogue, and couture. This lesson consists of Benny Ninja showing one pose for each category and then it's time to dig in their claws and tear the girls to shreds. (Oh what? The meat challenge is over? Bad meat puns don't make sense this week? Noted.)The bottom line here is that everyone starts skipping and popping up their heels and throwing their arms in the air. Some girls get showered in accolades while others get slammed. If there's a method to this madness, I'm not following. They're all equally ridiculous to me. The most interesting criticism comes when Benny Ninja tells Whitney that she looks like Anna Nicole. Ouch. Apparently Whitney's heard this multiple times since makeovers.

Trimspa baby!

Back at the penthouse, there's some phone drama because Whitney created a schedule to make sure everyone got a fair amount of gab time. Dominique somehow missed the memo because no one ever told her about the system. Now, I freezed the frame and saw she was the last one on the list. If all nine other girls in the house managed to figure out that this was the deal and you're the only one that didn't? You're the one to blame, in my esteemed opinion. Dominique lashes into Whitney, but Claire defends her. Princess Dominique demands to know who should be responsible s for telling Princess Dominique about the system. Duh, it's on you, retorts Claire. Then out of nowhere, there's a head twitch here, a sarcastic tone there, and war ensues. To sum up: Dominique thinks Whitney's disrespectful but Whitney says that Dominique talks out of her ass and has no education. Whitney pronounces this "ed-uh-cation" and I while I'm busy snickering, Dominique calls Whitney "like, racist." Whitney's obviously offended and Dominique backs this up by saying Whitney could be racist to a "Jewish girl with blue eyes and blonde hair or a Catholic girl with red hair and green eyes." Uh is there supposed to be a point somewhere in there? Cause I'm not finding it. Nothing really gets resolved and there's no apologies. Now, I'm pretty vocal in my love for Whitney and hatred for Dominique, but even if I ignore my bias when judging this incident... Dominique's clearly been taking her crazy pills. Yeah, Whitney was being pretty sarcastic and wasn't acting very polite, but hey Dominique? If you choose to speak all ebonic-style and pull crazy stunts like constantly referring to yourself in the third person, don't be surprised when someone makes fun of you for it. Just because you happen to be black (and wait, really, you're black??) AND speak retardedly doesn't mean that Whitney's automatically making fun of your race when she's making fun of the way you're speaking. The defense rests, your honor.The next day the girls all head out to their fashion faceoff, and it's apparently in a rundown area under some railroad tracks - looks like the MASH gods decided that someone will be living with JTT in a shanty! Actually, this place appears to be named 5pointz and Lauren gets as giddy as we've ever seen her when she tells us it's in Brooklyn! And she lives in Brooklyn! My friend and Brooklyn resident Jimmy (who, coincidentally, is the very person who first dubbed me "Hoolia" back in the ninth grade) notified me almost immediately and asked me to put in the recap that 5pointz is NOT in Brooklyn, but rather in Queens and that she thinks Lauren's kind of an idiot for living in Brooklyn and not knowing that.Drag queens emerge from behind the graffiti-covered walls and start doing crazy dance moves as the girls cheer them on. Dominique embraces her inner dragaliciousness (thanks again for that one, Mizz Jay) and says that all the drag queens look beautiful and she finally feels like this is where she fits in. Benny Ninja gives a really long explanation of what's about to go down for the challenge, but I'll save you all the trouble by just saying that they'll be split into teams of five each and then doing a walk off, Zoolander style. The girl who poses best will get a point, and the winning team gets a trip to the SWAG tent... because apparently they just have a SWAG tent hanging out for no particular purpose. Team A is Fatima, Dominique, Lauren, Aimee, and Anya while Team B consists of Stacy-Ann, Claire, Katarzyna, Whitney, and Marvita.The posing is just as ridiculous as it was the other day, with some of the girls rolling around on the pavement (ew) and pretty much doing anything and everything short of making snow angels and doing pirouettes. The best matchup is when Fatima and Whitney go mono a mono. Fatima thinks that Whitney's like the cheerleader from high school that just sleeps with all the football players. Oh yeah, Fatima? You're the girl that was just jealous cause she wasn't getting a second glance. Fatima embraces that jealousy by edging herself over until she is literally posing directly on top of Whitney, shoving her lady parts right up in Whitney's face.

When the football players reject you, you resort to some girl on girl molestation

Whitney still manages to impress the judges with the splits and her superior poses, she wins, and justice prevails. In the end, Team B pulls out the win and Claire gets individual recognition for having the best overall poses. The SWAG tent is full of ridiculous stuff like pastel pink guitars and the girls get their pick of the goods. Whitney seethes with jealousy when Claire gets the grand prize - a trip to Bora Bora. Awesomeeee.Back at the house, the girls prep for their next shoot, and Marvita tells us about how she doesn't fit in and she's a girl from the hood and she's clueless when it comes to modeling, blah blah blah. Then there's a news bulletin that flashes up on the bottom of the screen that says MARVITA WILL BE IN THE BOTTOM TWO. A cryptic Tyra Ticker Tape about coats and then we're off to the shoot. This week... it's the Mizz Jay influenced shoot! Remember weeks ago when I laid out the evidence that Mizz Jay secretly wanted to be an elementary school teacher? Well, this week, the girls will be taken head shots with tempera paint splattered all over their face, and random transparency slides glued to their head. Wow, seriously? For once I would like to see a shoot where the props were not bought at Michaels Arts & Crafts, the Salvation Army, or the deli counter. Is that too much to ask, Tyra?

This shoot proudly styled by Ms. Jay Alexander's second graders

At the shoot, all of the girls bring it to varying degrees. Jay lavishes Lauren with praise, telling her that he'd put her poses on the cover of W magazine. Whitney struggles and I start to bite my nails out of nervousness. Jay tells her not to suck in her cheeks and to do something with her hand, which she's awkwardly resting on her neck like she's strangling herself. Dominique surprises everyone by looking soft and pretty and Jay tells her it's her best shoot to date. Fatima overthinks her shoot and it comes off looking uninspired. Marvita's shoot is similarly awkward. Jay gives the kiss of death by saying that she looks like she's over the competition. Earlier, she had been frumping it up and hiding behind a scarf and shades in a corner. She's definitely mentally checked out, and I'm disappointed. Some of her earlier pictures were pretty kickass, and I'm pretty sure she has a lot more potential in her. Did she just get her feelings hurt when the judges asked her to experiment with a range of emotions and now she's pouting about it? I hope she'll shape up, but she may have already lost her chance.At panel, the girls are all inexplicably dressed in black, white, or red. Does Tyra coordinate this or no? Seriously, I'm curious. Vendela is the guest judge this week, and Tyra tells us that she's the host of the Scandanavian version of Top Model and that Top Model is in over 120 countries. That sounds totally ridiculous to me because I'm pretty sure that's something like 2/3 of all of the countries in the world. Sure enough the ever-reliable Wikipedia pulls up only 36 versions. Fantastic exaggeration Tyra. Wonder what else you're lying about. On a related side note, I have watched Italia's Top Model and it's really lame. Every week they shoot on a beach and all of the girls look identically Mediterranean. Ooooo another fun side note - Mr. Jay hosts Canadian Top Model during ANTM's off-season. Who knew? Maybe you, but not me.Dominique's first up this week:

Tyra's surprised that Dominique can pull of a softness and be fashion. Paulina thinks she's being really vulnerable and Nigel likes it too. Even Hoolia thinks it's pretty damn good for her.

Nigel wants more power in Anya's eyes. Tyra gives us the "squint with your eyes open" ("I'm holding it. Still holding it. Still holding it.") lesson that she gives at least once a cycle.

After Tyra rips on Katarzyna's poufed up ponytail, she praises her for smiling with her eyes and tells Anya to take note. Paulina thinks it's relaxed but sophisticated.

Holy crap, Fatima has a forest going on in her pits. All of the judges are appalled. Fatima says that she doesn't shave. (Ew! Like...ever?) She thinks it wouldn't have really been a big deal to get it retouched. "Do you know how expensive retouching is?" Nigel barks at her. (Get it... cause he's Nigel Barker... I'll be here all night, folks!) Tyra estimates about a thousand bucks. Paulina says that models get a lot of money to pretty much just show up clean and shaved. Hoolia's curious if Paulina's actually admitting that modeling doesn't take a lot of talent. Other than the shaving issue, the judges love the pic but question if Fatima's taking the competition seriously.

Before the great picture reveal, Lauren apologizes because her heels are missing and she had to wear her ratty old (untied!) Converse to panel. When she admits she's a size 10, the judges all assume that one of the drag queens stole the heels. Paulina loves the pic, the judges think she has a great presence in her eyes.

Paulina thinks Whitney looks self conscious. Vendela comes out of nowhere with an inexplicable vendetta against Whitney. She doesn't think Whitney's taking the competition seriously enough because she did the splits at the challenge at 5 pointz. Hold up. What?? Whitney wasn't being any more ridiculous with her posing than any of the other girls. There are plenty of girls who have acted like they aren't really about this competition, but I don't think we've seen any of that from Whitney.

Tyra wants an inch more neck from Claire. Nigel likes the power in Claire's face.

Tyra thinks that Marvita looks defeated and that she's not invested in the competition. Tyra thinks the shot is a mixture of National Geographic and French Vogue. Paulina thinks it's like an orphan doing modeling. Vendela hates it.

Nigel loves the shot and Paulina loves the lips. Tyra thinks that in the film, Stacy-Ann looks lost and needs to be careful not to lose her neck.

Paulina wants Aimee to start dressing like a model and not a regular girl. Tyra says that Aimee's skin looks crazy beautiful and luminescent. Nigel calls her a comedian and thinks her profile would look so randomly different from one shot to the next. Hoolia thinks that because Nigel said "randomly" that this might not actually be a compliment.The judges deliberate and there's a weird moment where Mizz Jay calls out Tyra for stealing Lauren's shoes. Um, what? Did Tyra sneak into the apartment late at night and grab Lauren's shoes? Or was she masquerading as one of the drag queens at the fashion face off? If so, why didn't we get to see that? Someone needs to fire the story editor in charge of this one.The girls are called: Stacy-Ann, Dominique, Claire, Anya, Lauren, Aimee, Katarzyna, and Fatima. Final two are Whitney and Marvita. Tyra explains that both girls don't seem invested in the competition. Whitney rightly looks pissed and Marvita looks bored and unsurprised. Whitney gets called and Marvita gets cut.Well kids, what do you think? Did Marvita have the potential to make it to the end and gave up too early? Who do you think Whitney was acting racist towards Dominique or was Dominique way out of line for saying that? Do you think Whitney's acting "checked out" of the competition? How many more people need to get cut before the show starts getting really good?

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Big Brother 9: Live Feeds Into Monday Evening

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How I Met Your Mother: Ten Sessions

Filed under: OpEd, How I Met Your Mother, Celebrities, Episode Reviews

(S03E13) You know, I'll probably be the only person in the TV-review world who won't lead off his review of this episode with a picture of Britney Spears. Believe me, I had one up before I saw the episode (it's still there; I put it after the jump). But after watching it, I just couldn't do it; the episode is about the relationship between Ted and his tattoo removal doctor. Britney, as most people expected, was just there as an accessory. More on her in a little bit.

OK, now on to the episode... it stunk.

It didn't just stink; it was among the worst episodes of HIMYM I've ever seen. It was corny. It was only occasionally funny. And it had sitcommy situations that would have made Three's Company fans roll their eyes. I was tempted to channel The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy and utter his catch phrase, but this episode didn't even deserve that.
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Fake Michelle Ryan Agent Scamming Fans for Money

A post on the NBC.com message boards reports that a scam artist is taking advantage of fans’[...]

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CBS sets Shark for spring...and more Price is
Right

Filed under: Other Drama Shows, Programming, Game Show, Pickups and Renewals, Shark, Ratings, NCIS, Cane, Moonlight

Shark will swim again -- at least for the rest of this season. The future, however, remains unclear. CBS today announced that Shark will return on April 29 in a new timeslot. The network is switching the L.A. legal drama from Sundays at nine to Tuesdays at nine, where it may benefit from the strong lead-in of NCIS. Chances are that if Shark holds NCIS's ratings -- or improves on them -- that could mean more Shark for fall. If the show stumbles, CBS will likely pull the plug.

Fans of Shark may need to get more militant if they want to keep the show on the air. In a recent story we did about CBS renewals, there was fervent outcries for bringing back Moonlight and The Unit, even Cane. Out of 40 comments, only two came to Shark's defense. It may be a small sample, but still...

Continue reading CBS sets Shark for spring...and more Price is Right

 

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Interview: Lo Bosworth From The Hills

Hey Gasmii, I got to catch up with Lo Bosworth from The Hills and Laguna Beach on my radio show this past Friday. You will be seeing plenty of Lo this season that starts tonight on MTV @ 10PM ET/PT. I'm so excited for tonight!!!Here's the interview:boomp3.comThe Hills on MTV, Mondays @ 10PM ET/PT

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Beauty and the Geek: Snooty and the Freaks (See
what I Did There)

Beauty and the Geek is back and it's more beautiful and geekier than ever with this season bringing us a surprising twist. Instead of pairing the beauties and geeks in teams they are now competing against each other after realizing that the romantic aspect of the show was a really stupid idea and would never work.

With John E. being eliminated last week, this leaves a square-shouldered, pasty-skinned void in the house. All the "beauties" are thrilled to see most of the guys return, other than Jonathan which no one really cares about, mostly because of the way he keeps clogging the shower drain. Amber was especially excited to see Tom come back since she has her gold-digging eye on him hoping to take that sow's ear and turn him into a whole, wealthy pig who will keep her in the lifestyle to which she thinks she should be accustom.

A glimpse into the sexual bartering between Tom and Amber if they did eventually get married.

Both teams are informed that this week's competition will be a talent show designed to feature each person's individual gifts whether those talents be "eyeliner" or "dandruff." Both teams have to put on a 10-minute review that will be judged by the surly audience who all just came from the extended director's cut of Norbit. As always, the winning team will have the ultimate power to send half of the losing team to the elimination round where they will face off with Flaylock the Fire Demon. Jason feels confident that his innate geekiness will surely pay-off since he's had nothing but time to develop his skills all those lonely nights in his bedroom without a date. The majority of the ladies are concerned since they've never had to have talent other than standing for extended periods of time while looking fabulous.

Maybe not always fabulous.

The ladies all gather to pow-wow and pitch ideas. Most of the ideas entail the ladies looking fabulous and standing for an extended period of time, and the ones that don't are really stupid. They can't agree on anything other than the fact that Amanda's a bitch when she gets up to go to the bathroom. While the ladies can't decide on what to do, the geeks are all in sync, however far from NSYNC, when they decide to put on a rap show. The guys work together like Eminem and Dr. Dre, while the ladies continue to get along like Susan Lucci and Sarah Michelle Gellar. That's really good and really bad for the celebrity-love-o-meter.

"It's really pretty but it's not really a talent."

Hours later the ladies still have nothing but hurty heads from all the thinking so they all decide to give up and go drink which is how they made it through high school. To even the playing field the ladies attempt to distract the guys with a good old-fashioned game of spin the Dasani water bottle. Jonathan confesses that he has never been kissed by a girl who was not a relative and he and his grandma are not on speaking terms after their two-year relationship. Matt shies away from a kiss when the bottle lands on him because he doesn't want his first kiss to come from a game of spin the bottle, preferring to rather pay a hooker for it just like his dad did. While all this is happening Randi is pissed-off that the girls are wasting valuable time flirting when they could be practicing their booty-dancing and rump-shaking moves that she knows will win. After the game is over and the majority of the ladies and gents are amply inebriated, Amber takes the opportunity to pitch some more woo at Tom and lay the groundwork for her future sugar-daddy. Unfortunately Tom is too awkward and shy to respond so he leaves her to her devices and retires to bed. After Tom is gone, Amber pals up to her fellow "beauties" for some girl talk. She confesses that she is using Tom because she simply doesn't want to go to elimination and feels Tom can be her valiant, acne-ridden white knight. Everyone seems to realize this that lanky doofus, Tom, but he'll have his heart ripped out soon enough. As Jim talks about Amber's morals he delivers the best line of the night. "How many Amber's does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. She holds it in place and the world revolves around her."

Amber practices her talent.

The next day everyone arrives at the theater to perform and the ladies are really glistening it, because of the 10 minutes of available stage time, they have about 1-1/2. The guys have used their time wisely to rehearse and have timed it down to the last minute.

"OK, right now we make a pact to lose our virginity before this season is over. OK before we're 30. OK 40. OK eventually."

Before taking the stage Randi gives her fellow "beauties" directions with a random combination of words interspersed with "ya know" before screaming at them that they need to be serious right about now! The ladies, having no other option, decide to follow her lead and let her take the reigns.

They all just came from the tomato expo so this had better be good.

The Beauties are up first. The opening tableau consists of Amber playing the sexy teacher to a roomful of sexy reform school girls which is an obvious homage to "Reform School Girls 9: Lesbo-tastic!" All the ladies are dressed like parochial school girls, many not wearing panties just like real parochial school girls. When Amber's character leaves to make copies, the girls decide to shake things up by breaking into a "choreographed" dance number. To fill their time on stage each girl takes a chance to show their best dance move which ranges from "the robot" to "the bus driver" to "the sprinkler" which, according to Kristina, many were doing wrong. When the skit begins to go downhill, shortly after the curtain opened, the crowd becomes restless and begins booing. Before the ladies are done the crowd starts chanting "we want geeks" which hasn't happened since the last Nobel Prize awards ceremony was delayed when Stephen Hawking's wheelchair got stuck in an unfortunately placed divot causing him to arrive 30 minutes late. The ladies are crestfallen causing all their breasts to deplete a full cup size.

The girls even successfully disarmed a bomb right before it exploded but even that couldn't win over the crowd.

The geeks take the stage and begin with Matt reciting poetry about the trials and frecklations of being a geek. Suddenly Jason takes off his jacket, revealing a dreamboat body under that shipwreck face and interrupts Matt with some hardcore white novelty rap. All the other geeks take the stage ,dressed like Reservoir Dogs and chime in. Greg adds his ability to dance using nothing but his arms before Jonathan wows the audience with his dead-on impression of a velociraptor, although his depiction is flawed since the average dromaeosaurid theropod's skull was up to 250 millimeters (10 in) long and was uniquely up-curved, concave on the upper surface and convex on the lower and his head looks nothing like that.

Nice try Jonathan, but not good enough.

Chris amazes everyone with his ability to hold a pitchy note better than Amanda Overmeyer and longer than the ex and future stripper, David Hernandez. Tommy breaks in with his stand-up about being so tall and thin, which the "beauties" can understand having suffered with that their entire lives. Cowboy Joe, is a good old boy and attempts to rap, which I feel is weak and off his rhyme-scheme but the crowd seems to love it. White folks love bad rap. After both teams perform the crowd is allowed to vote and although the guys clearly out-performed the ladies, they are all nervous about losing since they're all so used to it. The votes are revealed and the geeks are crowned victorious for the first time in their miserable and pathetic lives. The ladies rationalize that they lost because the geeks are geeks and have time to sit at home and practice raptor impressions and hand-dancing.

Although some Beauties have time to perfect The Sprinkler.

As the winners, the guys have the opportunity to send half of the ladies to the elimination round and keep the other half as their willing, gold-bikini-wearing sex slaves per the CWs rule book. Most of the beauties don't want to study since they've never learned how to do. Leticia decides not to study, rather sit in a festering pool of hot filth with some of the other boys such as Joe, who wears his glasses in the hot tub. Tiffany joins Leticia in the hot tub and puts Jim's hair in a pony tail causing him to realize that she obviously loves him and to profess that he will never wash his hair again which he hadn't planned on doing anyway. Jonathan gives Leticia a backrub since she's so stressed out by growing up in a world where thin blond girls with ample breasts are never taken seriously. Kristina is pissed that the other girls are just flirting to stay out of elimination and more pissed that she didn't think of it first. Leticia doesn't think she flirted to avoid the test, but the nerdy girls who actually studied still hate her, just like back in high school.

"You seem to be carrying a lot of tension in your third and fourth vertabrae. You also seem to have a fair amount of backne."

The guys all get together to decide which of the "beauties" will be going to the elimination round. Their parliamentary process is very scientific and detailed, which is more confusing than the presidential primaries, which I still don't completely understand. What exactly is a Super Delegate? How does one become a Super Delegate? Exposure to the Earth's yellow sun? It makes NO sense! Anyway Tom obviously doesn't want to send Amber home since she's the first girl to give him attention since his Internet girlfriend from Guam.

The first 8 were to decide who was hotter: Tasha Yar or Seven of Nine.

Cara is feeling frustrated because the study material is too boring and has nothing to do with her true passions in life: eye liner and this year's hemlines. Amber tries to get Tom to help her study the vocabulary words but gives up on him when he cannot properly pronounce the words "genres," ignorantly pronouncing it "zhän-rah" instead of "genn-er." Idiot!

"Whatever. I don't care if I stay on this show. I can always fall back on my career as a Bratz Doll model."

The ladies all go to the stair ceremony, which by the way, is the lamest name of any reality-show elimination ceremony. Tribal Council. Rose Ceremony. Stair Ceremony? The first girl picked to go to the trivia challenge is Amber because she is told that she stirs up shit and thinks she's better than everyone. Amber is surprised because that was always an asset in the modeling world. Amanda is next because she doesn't have a strong connection to anyone in the house but in her defense most of the guys are ugly. Randi is next and is there because she's argumentative and quite honestly broad-backed. Next is Christina because she looks too much like Kristen Chenowith. The last girl picked is Jillian just because she hates Jews. Amber pipes up and says that Leticia should be going to the elimination contest and vows to get Leticia out of the house very soon. Joe pipes up and tells Amber that if she can't trust their choices maybe she should leave causing Amber to release her inner black bitch.

"They're amazing. They're like a regular sweater but without the sleeves. You have GOT to try these things."

Amber comes up to Joe to confront him about confronting her which no one does unless they can buy her something for her troubles. Joe stands his ground as she berates him, but you can tell that his penis completely sprang back inside his body and his butt hole slammed shut the second she got in his face. Tom obviously wants Amber to come back from elimination because her aggressive personality is doing great things for him, you know, down there.

"I appreciate your point of view but I am standing my ground. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go change my Wranglers."

Amanda is the first person to get the right answer, by knowing what state Chicago is in and that Chicago isn't actually a state. Kristina is safe next when she properly fills in the blank "A Midsummer Night's _____" which I'm sure is a TV Guide crossword puzzle clue. Jillian is safe next when she wows the crowd with her math skills realizing all those times reading and re-reading "One Fish, Two Fish" finally paid off. Amber and Randi are left to battle it out in a dramatic confrontation between evil and eviler. Amber tries to sway the judging by clutching her chest and complaining about her heart hurting, a trick she learned from watching Sanford and Son, but Randi isn't having any of it so she encourages the host to proceed. He asked the question and Randi buzzes in immediately, surprisingly getting the answer correct: "Prostitutes!" This leaves Amber out of the house, and trying to claim her buzzer didn't work on time, another trick she learned by watching Celebrity Jeopardy the time Redd Fox was on it. She quickly realizes that it won't work so she concedes that she will be leaving the mansion.

"I'm comin' Ethel!"

What did you think? Did Amber deserve to go or should she have stuck around a while longer to make Tom fall in love with her and buy her pretty things? Will Randi get her comeuppance or will she make it all the way to the end by being on the girl's team while simultaneously being so fugly? Leave a comment and let's talk about it.

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FOX cancels Jezebel James; no one is surprised

Filed under: Other Comedy Shows, Industry, Cancellations

Well, this isn't a big surprise: TV Guide's Mike Ausiello has just found out from FOX that The Return of Jezebel James has been canceled after three episodes. Jezebel James was the first project for executive producer Amy Sherman-Palladino since she and her husband, Daniel Palladino, left Gilmore Girls after the show's sixth season.

Reviews for the show -- including mine -- were largely negative; almost all of them cited how Sherman-Palladino's unique writing style and pace were thrown off by the studio audience / laugh track used for the show. FOX obviously didn't have any confidence in the show, because it was airing episodes on Friday nights after cutting its initial order from 13 episodes to 7.

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Jericho: The Last Ordinary Day

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