Hey, everyone remember Hawaii Five-O? Well you shouldn't-- unless you're my mom and are finally reading my blog (Hi, Mommy!)-- because it ran from 1968 to 1980. That's twelve years of following the hijinks of the Hawaii state police department, but The Powers That Be at CBS have decided that what the world needs now is More. Five. O. What.
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The best part is that the producers are fully admitting that this project is no reimagining. It will have the same tone, same theme song, every episode will end with the same three word quip. Just like the good old days. Those ones before I was born.
This is not creativity or even good business; it's cryogenic freezing. It's like they stuck Five-O in the icebox with Ted Williams's head and a carton of popsicles so that someday, when some weirdo with access to the CBS coffers decided that he just really personally missed Five-O and would like some new episodes to enjoy, he could go ahead and make that happen.
I think I'm going to have to stop rueing the reign of reality tv. At least there's some creativity associated with finding the next best way to exploit midgets or pregnant teenagers or better yet, both. I still believe the boom of reality programming to be the death knell of televised art. But recycling is worse. Reliving hits from the 70s, 80s, and 90s only works on Mix 96.9. What is happening is as arbitrary and as subject to whim as the selection of tonight's frozen dinner. Lean Cuisine, Lean Cuisine, box of chimichangas, peas, Snickers ice cream bar... oh, here we go. Hawaii Five-O. Let's defrost you. No, not you, Ted. It's not your time.
Maybe I'm just bitter about their particular selection. I would be much happier if they brought back Columbo.
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I can't say I like this season so far, and this week's episode did little to change that, but the episode was enjoyable for what it is--Jack being Jack. We've seen him do everything before, so it's not like anything was that surprising. When Jack is kidnapped, he gets tortured, then escapes by an act of awesomeness. The Jack Bauer legend is carried on the fact that he does incredible things all the time with ease, and watching the feats over an over again doesn't get old. I was watching Count Jackula in season 6 the other day and it was still cool. He has an aura around him that makes non-fans laugh (in derision) and fans cheer.
Sergei takes Jack to the back and has his torture specialist, Dimitri go to work on him. He starts shocking Jack and messing around with the stab wound. Like any villain who is going to be killed, Dimitri is all alone and doesn't know the power of Jack. Jack makes great use of his legs and shocks Dimitri unconscious. Then he uses his legs to break the pipe and again uses his legs to choke Dimitri to death. He still has a gang of Russians to take on, and he dispatches them, leaving Sergei to be interrogated.
Family is still most important to Sergei who snaps up a plea deal after talking to President Taylor. Jack doesn't want to go the interrogation route because Sergei has been hardened already. (But when did that stop him before?) Sergei readily spills all the information, but when Cole and his team arrive at the way station, there's a few dead Russians, and a necklace of Oleg that Josef had taken. Josef is now the one with the nuclear fuel rods. There's no way Sergei can be a threat anymore, so Josef looks like he'll be the big bad for a few episodes until another player rises to the top.
It was a twist I didn't see coming, mostly because Josef seemed the sentimental type after making a big deal of his brother's death. I guess he's no different than his father; they would kill countless people as long as their family is safe. The weird world of family bonds can be taken to the extreme on 24 and still be completely normal.
The focus on Jack left little time to the subplots which have been very weak. Kevin and Nick want more money and they push Dana to continue giving them information. She's an idiot for not expecting that, but she decides to deal with them herself. She packs a gun and head off to the strip club they're at. Arlo has photos on her and Kevin, and after talking to Cole, he's on her trail and talking to Arlo, so it's crashing down on her quickly. Hopefully, the story resolves itself quickly, because it's unoriginal and makes us dislike the characters involved. Arlo, Dana, Cole, Kevin, and Nick are just annoyances with no relevance to the main story. I thought the writers would tie in Kevin and the Russians, but there's eight episodes and no indication of that.
Hassan is getting crazier and crazier by the second and appears to be more Kim Jong Il than Robert Mugabe. Kayla tries to talk reason into him, but gives him more evidence, by his twisted logic, to become more paranoid. She tells him she has been in love with Tarin for a year. Hassan thinks that Tarin wooed his daughter to get closer to him. What a genius.
Renee takes it upon herself to make sure Jack is safe. She is the reason why he was captured (though the situation could have been avoided entirely), and it's hitting her hard. The one person who cared about her might be dead, and it completely crushes her. She's sent for a psych evaluation, but she doesn't appear for the last fourth of the episode.
We're a third of the way through the season there hasn't been much to look forward to. Hassan's story is going slowly with a big showdown looming. Dana's sticky situation is only sticky. The main nuclear material story is pretty weak. Even a mole who be a welcome change to these stories. The only thing going for this season is the developing relationship between Renee and Jack. I hate to be down on the show, especially if it is going to be the final season, but it's looking more and more like the show has run it's course.
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YAY! Barbara Mandrell look-a-like Andrea "Get Off" McClaws is back as pageant co-director for this season's penultimate episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. I actually really like her, she seems like a normal, nice person who is actually into these...
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Gabourey Sidibe was the first brave soul to chat with reporters today in the press room at the 2010 Oscar nominees luncheon. The Hollywood newcomer was effervescent and witty as usual, even quipping that the reporters should stand when giving her a round of applause upon her entrance. Gabby admitted that she still hasn't found her Oscar dress yet, but wasn't shy about expressing her excitement about the big night ahead. Here's what she had to say:
Stay tuned for lots more from the Oscar nominees!
Vogue is a fashion magazine, so you know that this Tina Fey interview in the new issue is going to focus a lot on clothes, hair, and weight, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of good stuff in it for fans of Fey and '30 Rock.'
What I like most about the interview is that even though she's doing poses in front of the New York City skyline and having people fuss over her clothing and her hair, you still get a strong sense of the nerd girl inside of Fey. In the video diary of the photo shoot (after the jump), Fey talks about how it's funny that the interview for the shoot is being held in the former bathroom of a restaurant, and in the print interview you can tell that while she finds all of it fun, she knows it's pretty silly, too.
She also talks about how she was treated differently by people over her Sarah Palin impersonation when men like Dana Carvey (who did Bush) weren't, and discusses everything from the Emmys to Rosemary Clooney to Chicken McNuggets.
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Hello. You don?t know me, but I know you. Presumptuous of me, you say? Well, give me a chance.
You watch the Office every week. You started watching in, hmm, 2006? You heard about how funny it was, and didn?t watch it for a while. It can?t be as good as they say, you thought. Or, maybe you listened to that know-it-all at your bus stop who said that the US version is a lame rip-off of the UK version. But then you finally caved and tore through the first season on Netflix in a week and a half. Am I right? And now, ever since, you?ve been throwing away 30 precious minutes every Thursday night on what has become a tired excuse for a comedy.
Still not with me? Let me explain.
What you loved about the Office seasons 1-2, and most of Season 3, is a far cry from the warm plate of shit that is shoved down our throats each week. In the early years, the confines of Dunder Mifflin might as well have been your cubicle. Who in the world who as ever put in a 40-hour week in any type of office environment didn?t identify with Jim Halpert? A goofy guy, full of potential, if only he?d get a decent haircut and dress better. Every person, man or woman, wants to see a bit of that in themselves.
And the characters? Forget about it. Each person sees his or her own boss in the idiotic things Michael Scott does. Every office has a creepy weird guy like Dwight. And a cranky old guy like Stanley. And a clueless dork like Kevin. And most have got a nice, sexy, friendly yet out-of-reach woman, just like Pam. And better yet, she likes the hero! Wow, in the alternate universe I can tune into for a half hour every week, there?s a hot chick that I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE with!
But best of all were the gags. Dwight thinks it?s a Friday instead of Thursday? Michael wrote a screenplay starring himself as the superhero and Dwight as the ne?er-do-well sidekick? And who can forget this episode?
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Alas, all good things must come to an end. The signs began to appear in Season 3, where Jim kicks Rashida Jones to the curb in favor of Jenna Fisher. Looks-wise, it?s about a tossup ? but no man in his right mind throws away a bird in his hand for the one in the bush. Season 3 ended on an interesting note, with the temp Ryan being awarded an executive position with Dunder Mifflin. I think we all left season 3 thinking that there was a chance that the series could still be good.
And then, season 4 episode 2, this happened:
If you look real close in that lake, you can see the Fonz go by on his water skis.
To me, this is the point where the show became completely lost. Until that point, everything passed the smell test. After that, though, it?s like the writers are having a contest to see what the dumbest thing they can have the characters do without the entire US breaking out in revolt. Having exhausted all the plot lines from the UK version, the well went dry. Maybe that douche on the bus was right, eh? Let me list off some of the idiotic things that have happened on the show since the end of Season 3:
Chances are you've stumbled across Will Ferrell, Chris Henchy, and Adam McKay's viral video mecca Funny or Die while bumbling around on the Internet at work (it's okay, I won't tell). Now, they're invading your TV too, as they bring a slew of comedic sketches to HBO. Apparently, they just give their many celeb friends a camera and let them run wild. The result: totally random, raucous silliness.
The show is appropriately titled Funny or Die Presents, and it's premiering at midnight this Friday. To celebrate, the website just released a series of clips filled with a ton of recognizable faces. You have Don Cheadle and Ferrell reenacting a "Drunk History" bit as Douglass and Lincoln, David Spade in a wig alongside SNL alum Tim Meadows, and Malin Akerman and a wounded Ed Helms in the middle of a bank robbery.
While not uproariously funny from these quick snippets alone, it does have me curious to see each skit in full - and to watch for who else might pop up in the series (Zooey Deschanel and John C. Reilly are also among the attached names). Plus, I'm sold just from the fact that Zach Galifianakis is wearing pigtails and a velour sweatsuit.
Check out the video when you read more.Funny Or Die Presents - Exclusive Preview from FODPresents
One of the biggest stars of daytime, David Canary, has chosen not to renew his contract with 'All My Children,' in large part because of the soap's relocation to Los Angeles according to Soap Opera Network. ABC hasn't confirmed the information, but the creator of 'All My Children,' Agnes Nixon, did. And prior to her confirmation, David Canary's daughter Tweeted about it to David's fans.
David Canary has been on 'All My Children' as Adam and Stuart Chandler since 1983, winning five Daytime Emmys (out of eleven nominations), and he's a fantastic actor. The roles of Adam and Stuart have been integral to the show, even after it was revealed that Adam was responsible for shooting - and killing - Stuart last year.