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Krista White at Max Rave!

I think it’s time to talk something about America’s Next Top Model series! After[...]

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True Blood – 3×08: A Nip/Tuck Effect

True Blood is the new Nip/Tuck. Remember that show? It finally got canceled this year right? Who knows… not like anyone watched it to the end or very long past the Carver anyway. Same formula as True Blood, really: extreme sex + extreme violence – any plausibility = ratings! Nip/Tuck was quite good in the beginning, just the way True Blood was (kind of). As the series went on it got more and more ridiculous, but somehow it still managed to get in a few truly touching moments for a while, like at the end of Season 1 when (SPOILER ALERT) Sean Macnamara fell in love with a dying woman named Megan O’Hara and helped to euthanize her as Elton John’s Rocket Man played in the background.

Excluding any moment on LOST or Buffy or the Season 4 finale of House (Wilson! Amber!) that particular scene sticks out in my mind as one of the most tragic television moments of all time. They were few and far between, but even with all the similarities between the two shows I still can’t think of just ONE moment on True Blood that I, or anyone I know has ever connected with or been touched by in any similar way. I’ve never felt true elation for a triumph of these characters, and I’ve also never felt that pang of worry or sense of tragedy for them either. The closest I’ve come to connecting are some “awwww’s” here and there between Jessica and Hoyt, or Lafayette and Jesus. True Blood is an endless string of empty stories with no heart. As for Nip/Tuck, I would go on to hate it for its way way waaaaaay over-the-top and repulsive content done purely for shock value which helped to make it lose near any semblance of heart it had left, and to this day I advise people not to watch it as there is no chance of a swift resolution to these unlikeable characters aside from their demise.

Sounding familiar?

Christian Troy as Jason Stackhouse (FX)

This is the slippery slope of the relatively new monster known as the “Cable Drama”: they can discuss heavier themes, curse, show people having wild and crazy sex, hack each other’s heads off clean, masturbate to horse porn, you name it. But its easy to get lost in all that freedom, too, and tempting to throw it all into one show just so audiences think you’re daring and different! An example of a character who unfortunately personifies the non-censorship slippery slope problem on cable is Debra Morgan on Dexter. Her incessant usage of the word “fuck” makes me cringe near every time she utters it. I think they try to be funny with it, and it does [fucking] nothing but make her sound like a [fucking] moron. (See what I mean?)

Oh yeah, the episode…

I’ll be brief about the analysis and review portion of the latest episode of True Blood because I’ve gone on long enough. I know the episode was suppose to be some big deal with all these crazy twists and spins that affect the rest of the season but… meh. Well, it started off on a good foot with the refreshingly mutual break-up of Sookie and Bill which, truth be told, is a rarer occurrence on television than it is in real life. This is totally understandable being that mutual break-ups are low on the conflict scale and pretty damn anti-climactic, however, I enjoyed seeing two people tearfully agree that, despite loving each other, some things just aren’t meant to work out. I guess it was a sense of realism otherwise non-existent amidst the absurdity that is True Blood which I appreciated. But of course, the break up didn’t even last past the episode it took place in, which really lowers the stakes of any conflict moving forward between Sookie and Bill. It’s like in the real world when a friend and their on-again/off-again significant other have broken up for the 283472 time and they are on the phone crying to you about it and you’re exhausted from having to pretend you care anymore because you know its all bullshit and their own fault and this won’t end until one of them (A) dies, or (B) moves away. That’s how I feel watching all these idiots run around in circles most of the time, and that goes beyond Sookie and Bill.

"If I weren't so stupid I'd have fallen in love with someone like you." - Sookie (HBO)

The moment you were all waiting for: the sex is back! We’ve seen how relatively subdued sex has been in Season 3 in comparison to the disastrous Season 2 orgyfest (not in intensity but in frequency). Well, it made its comeback in a huge way on Sunday night when we were reminded why God invented Premium Cable. Personally, neither Stephen Moyer or gay bunk-ups do it for me, but if Sookie or Eric are involved, the sexiness factor amps up anyone with a heart beat and half a libido. (Yes, I’m still holding out for the moment when both their worlds collide and my screen melts!) Even the non-sex was hot: Alcide and Sookie. One of the few good lines of the episode is captioned above. There was a promise of a raunchy reunion in that goodbye which I would welcome, gladly.

One act I was not pleased with, however, was Eric’s decision to kill Talbot as vengeance on Russell — particularly if that’s in fact his only plan. If the show really wanted the audience to flip their shit at the killing of Talbot, they wouldn’t have made Russell so annoyed and dismissive of him all along. They should have made the two inseparable and fleshed out their bond, or made Russell as obsessive over Talbot as Talbot was of him. I mean, of course all hell is going to break lose now anyway, but its unjustified and only vaguely reasonable. Who cares about a situation that yesterday appeared to mean next to nothing to Russell? Just another McGuffin as far as I’m concerned. They could have done a lot more with that story, as with most everything else. That being said, I repeat, this better not be the only thing up Eric’s sleeve because it sucks!

  • Turns out that, yup, Sookie screamed a blood-curdling scream at the sight of Bill for no real rational reason. Just to scare you into another episode. What a joke!
  • WTF was that 1995 zip-up windbreaker Bill was wearing in the opener all about?

    LOL'ed hard at Bill's post-Tony Manero ensemble (HBO)

  • Talbot: “Franklin’s brains won’t wash off the bed linens!” Yessss he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s really dead!
  • Arlene is totally freaking about about Rene being the baby’s father. Whatever. I think she’s going to abort out of the fear that the baby will have that “serial killer blood” or some ridiculous and predictable excuse like that.
  • Tara wants to live more than ever = I want to die more than ever.
  • Tommy steps to Hoyt. FAIL.
  • Jessica and Bill’s relationship is actually pretty sweet. I’m all about these platonic male/female relationships, so I at least enjoyed their exchange a bit.
  • How brain-dead would someone have to be to have the following reaction: “OMG Jason and Crystal are sooooooooo awesome and exciting! I love them! What’s going to happen next?!?!? They had sex! How cool!!! They are totally in love. Can’t you see it in their eyes? Jason has to save her, she’s just such an amazing person with so many admirable qualities. Crystal Meth is getting some screen time outside of Breaking Bad? Awesome! People should totally hear more about it! ” Honestly, what are the writers smoking when they come up with this crap? My 94 year-old grandmother comes up with better stories about the Lebanese neighbors.
  • Lafayette and Jesus together again? I sure hope so.
  • What will be the consequences and/or outcome of Jessica’s killing sprees? She tries to fight the urges, but is it Bill’s fault for not caring for her the way a maker should? Then again a maker is suppose to teach to hunt, not teach you how not be a vampire, right?

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Tagged: Buffy, cable, dexter, house, LOST, nip/tuck, sex, vampires

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REESES PIECE

Judge Reese may have been a scoundrel in the 'Maverick' episode "Red Dog"; but had he been really a black-hearted villain, the Judge would have ordered Wolf MacManus to gun down Beau "Red Dog" Maverick when he refused the opportunity to join their bank robbery plan. And although his ultimate goal was to line his pockets with reward money, at least he was trying to get three bad guys out of circulation.

Two out of three ain't bad.

Earlier in his career, Judge Reese may have built up quite a reputation on the bench as a force for good in the Old West. To the point that perhaps the people looked up to him and and saw him as an inspiration for their own lives. They may have even carried out this hero worship to the point where they named their children after him.

One such family might have been the Bennetts down in Texas.

Of course, this must have been early in the career of Judge Reese, for even though he was an old man by the time we met him in that episode of 'Maverick', Reese Bennett was fully into adulthood by then - as seen in 'Laredo'....

BCnU!

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Who Is the Winner of 'Hell's Kitchen' (VIDEO)

Filed under: TV Replay

Who Is the Winner of 'Hell's Kitchen'?Well, it's time to get down to it. All good reality shows must come to an end. So, on 'Hell's Kitchen' (Tue., 8PM ET on Fox), we finally learn who is the winner of the entire series. It comes down to a battle between Jay and Holli. Only one can survive. And your winner is ...

[Spoiler alert.]

... Oh, wait. let's not reveal that yet. Host Gordon Ramsay makes the two final contestants open a door. And that door leads to success -- or, at least, it leads to victory on the show and a new job working for Gordon in London.

Here is what Jay has to say, while he turns the door handle: "This is monumentally life-changing."

Here is what Holli has to say: "This is your whole entire future, right in front of you."

And your winner is ...

 

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Keith Olbermann Assails 'Amateur' White House
(VIDEO)

Filed under: TV Replay

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has caused a stir by lashing out at the "professional left," a collection of bloggers and cable news personalities who he believes is too hard on the Obama administration.

Keith Olbermann, an implied member of this cabal, responded to Gibbs on Tuesday's 'Countdown With Keith Olbermann' (weeknights, 8PM ET on MSNBC.)

 

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