Six years and 5,990 stories about reality TV

post from reality blurred on 09 July 2006 10:58:45 PM. © reality blurred

Today is July 9, reality blurred's official sixth birthday. Tomorrow begins the seventh year of this site, which is about as crazy to me as realizing that when I began this project, I was 22, and now I'm about to move into my last year before I turn 30, at which time society's expectations dictate that I'll have to throw myself from a bridge unless I get my book published and move up to the A-list.

What began as a blog hosted by Tripod and powered by Blogger has become perhaps the world's biggest archive of reality TV news, and, of course, stories about drunken reality whores. Since the site's inception, I've posted 5,990 stories; this is the 5,991st. Many of those came thanks to readers like you, and perhaps even you, and for that I am grateful.

But I'm more grateful that you come back here day after day to read my bitching--I mean, analysis--and link to stories on your blog, tell your friends about it, and let me know when I've misspelleldd a word.

Thanks much.

the site's first, third, fourth, and fifth anniversaries [reality blurred]

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The society method: a portrait of Alma Garret
Ellsworth

post from The House Next Door on 09 July 2006 10:29:00 PM. © The House Next Door

By Barry MaupinAmong hardcore Deadwood fans, a discussion of favorite characters could go back and forth for hours. When the debate shifts to assigning a least favorite character, though, the verdict comes down in a hurry: Alma Garret Ellsworth. While[...]

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Reno 911!: Season premiere

post from TV Squad on 09 July 2006 06:35:00 PM. © TV Squad

Filed under: Comedy, OpEd, Comedy Central, Reno 911!

(S04E01) Here we are with the fourth season of the improvisational cop comedy Reno 911!, and if you've been watching the series up to this point you know that any cliff hangers from last season are going to be dealt with hastily so we can get to what the show is really about: police officers behaving life buffoons.

Nevertheless, let's revisit what happened at the end of season three: Trudy's boyfriend, a convicted serial killer, has been sentenced to death by lethal injection. At the last minute, however, the phone rings in the execution chamber. Could this be the call that will save his life? No, as it turns out it was just someone who called the wrong number. So he's dead, or so we assume. Also, Dangle and Garcia have become trapped inside their cruiser during a violent snow storm, but they find themselves rescued by the fire department at the start of this episode. Also, they're both naked inside the car, which they both claim was because they read something once about body heat, or something ... okay, no one knows why they were naked.

As usual, the plot is rather light, but that's because the show is about improvisation, not plot. During one segment, Jones and Junior send a fake fax to Dangle that claims to be a casting call for a "real police officer" to play in Baz Luhrman's adaptation of West Side Story. They hit the streets with a video camera and tape Dangle as he directs traffic by dancing and skipping around. That moment is hysterical, but nothing cracked me up like the Police Tek 2000 PSA for "rape shield undergarments." During these PSAs, the cast gets to play bad actors, and Clementine's nonchalant delivery about her rape the night before is comedy gold. Dangle adds in the end: "Once you've been 'not raped' twice, Police Tek rape shield undergarments have paid for themselves."

While the Police Tek PSA was the best segment of this episode, the weakest was easily the one involving Carrot Top going berserk in his hotel room and throwing things out his window. It goes on too long, and the novelty of it, like Carrot Top himself, wears thin pretty fast. Thankfully, this is soon followed by a great moment between Jones and Garcia where Garcia wants to interrogate a prisoner by playing "good cop, black cop," not, as the saying should go, "good cop, bad cop." Even after Jones points out his mistake, Garcia doesn't see the difference between the two terms.

Also, Trudy is pregnant, which is revealed in the beginning, but it's fitting I didn't mention it until the end, because none of her fellow officers really seem to care. At least, they don't care until it's revealed she went to the same sperm bank where apparently every male officer on the force have made deposits of their own. Could one of these men be the father of Trudy's baby?

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Kathy Griffin will be on Larry King Monday night

post from reality blurred on 09 July 2006 05:49:16 PM. © reality blurred

The segment Kathy Griffin taped with Larry King will air Monday night, CNN's web site says. On the show, she will reportedly why why she divorced Matt. The interview was going to air last Tuesday night, but was preempted by news of North Korea's missile fun.

Larry King airs at 9 p.m. ET Monday night, assuming some lame "news" doesn't interrupt and cause the show to be delayed again.

My friend Maureen Ryan at The Chicago Tribune wraps up what we know right now, noting that, in an earlier interview, Kathy Griffin told her that she "would talk about what transpired with [Matt] Moline after the second season had finished airing."

Saddest reality split ever? [The Chicago Tribune]Larry King Live [CNN]

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Stephenie LaGrossa marries; Apprentice Jennifer
Murphy married Extreme Makeover's dentist; Scott Savol weds

post from reality blurred on 09 July 2006 05:47:30 PM. © reality blurred

The reality TV pool just got a little shallower, as three reality stars got married on Friday. Survivor Guatemala and Survivor Palau cast member Stephenie LaGrossa got married on Friday, as did Apprentice 4 candidate Jennifer Murphy, who married the dentist from Extreme Makeover.

Stephanie "wed her longtime boyfriend, high-school history teacher Michael Ward, 33, on Friday in Seaside Heights, N.J., the Jersey Shore town where they first met," according to People magazine. Palau castmate Tom Westman and Guatemala castmate Danni Boatwright showed up.

On the same day, former Miss Oregon Jennifer, the more airheady Jennifer on the fourth season of The Apprentice, married Bill Dorfman, who fixed people's teeth on ABC's original makeover series. They were married at Trump National Golf Club in California, and Donald Trump himself attended.

Finally, having not received the memo that reality TV weddings were supposed to take place on Friday, American Idol 4 contestant Scott Savol got married Saturday, according to Reality TV Magazine. He wed Rochelle Waddell, not the girlfriend he was arrested for "roughing up".

Survivor's Stephenie LaGrossa Gets Married and Extreme Makeover Dentist Weds Ex-Apprentice [People]American Idol Finalist Scott Savol Getting Married [Reality TV Magazine]

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Deadwood: A Two-Headed Beast

post from TV Squad on 09 July 2006 05:09:00 PM. © TV Squad

Filed under: Drama, HBO, Premium Cable, OpEd, Deadwood

Deadwood - A Two-Headed Beast

(S03E05) This sums just about everything up:

Johnny: "What are we waiting for?"

Swearengen: "To see what kind of hell breaks loose."

And break loose it did. From drug addiction to street fights, plenty of things came out into the open this week on Deadwood.

The big story was the fight between Dority and Hearst's Captain. The Captain (did we ever find out his real name?) finally sent Dan a formal invite to settle their differences. Dan accepted but only after Al gave him the go ahead. I was surprised how cavalier Al was about sending Dan into battle like that though. Despite his hard exterior, after last week's descent into Al's orphanage upbringing, we know for sure the guy has a soft side. Of course, he knows Dan pretty well at this point. While the fight seemed to be tipping in The Captain's favor at first, Dan seized one key moment in the skirmish and was able to poke his thumb into his adversary's left eye, causing the eye to pop out. Dority won.

Everyone's assumptions that Alma was back on the junk were verified after Leon admitted his dealings to Cy. Then we actually saw Alma dosing herself. Ellsworth is on to her though. In her high-as-a-kite stupor, Alma became rather frisky with her husband (which never happens). So he knows something is up. I'm curious to see if he'll actually have the sense to see the Doc and inquire about his wife's medical history. If I had to guess he'll probably figure out Leon's role in the matter first though.

The most surprising moment occurred after Hostetler signed over the livery to Steve. Sick of the drunk's constant berating, personal insults, and racist comments, Hostetler put a gun to his head. I really didn't see that coming. If anything positive comes from his death though, it should mean The Nigger General will be hanging around camp instead of going to Oregon. His scenes with Jane from last season were some of the best and more of those would be a good thing.

In the end, after another dead Cornishman showed up in camp, Bullock finally decided to forego his agreement with Al. The sheriff found Hearst, drunk at the Bella Union and mourning his Captain. Bullock didn't care though. Hearst is now responsible for multiple deaths and Seth arrested him right in front of Tolliver. Al's plans just hit a bit of a snag.

Other Happenings:

Con, following last week's encounter with Langrishe's girl, is now sex-crazed and has taken to bathing Cy's whores.
Langrishe welcomed the rest of his troupe to the camp and began to assign duties to his people.
It took a full spittoon getting dumped on him for Steve to finally consider bathing. Ugh.

Best Quotes:

EB (saddened that Silas, Dan, and Johnny have shunned him): "I miss our morning coffee."

Hearst (drunk, mouthing off to Bullock): "When I say 'F#ck Yourself' sheriff, will you put that down to drunkenness or a high estimate of your athleticism?"

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Futurama: A Fishful of Dollars

post from TV Squad on 09 July 2006 04:26:00 PM. © TV Squad

Filed under: Comedy, OpEd, Animation, Retro Squad, Futurama

(S01E06) The ironic thing about Futurama is that, while it's not an earthbound show, its actual "universe" is much smaller than that of Matt Groening's other creation, The Simpsons. What I mean by that is that Futurama doesn't have nearly as many recurring side characters as its predecessor; however, it allows for those side characters to be both more broadly-drawn and better-developed.

We've already seen a few characters outside the Planet Express family -- Nibbler, Zapp, Kif, and Calculon -- and now we're introduced to Mom. Mom's a ruthless businesswoman who is trying to take over the world. Even though the picture she puts out to the public is the kindly old grandmother in a big hoop-skirted dress, she actually smokes, swears, chugs cream soda, and orders around her three sniveling hench-sons. Oh, and she also has it in for Fry.

Fry, who goes to buy a pair of Lightspeed briefs after they infiltrate his dreams (they use gamma rays to do that, you know). He goes to his old 20th century bank -- which happens to stil have his records on file -- to get more money. He has to use his old-fashioned ATM card, with a PIN that's the price of a cheese pie and a large soda at the pizzeria where he used to work. He finds that his 93 cents has matured over 1000 years in to $4.3 billion, which apparently is still a lot of money in the year 3000. He spends his money on things that reminded him of his old life, including the last known tin of anchovies, a fish that was eaten to extinction by Zoidberg's lobsterman relatives.

Those anchovies, though, would ruin Mom if the formula for their oil got out. So she goes after Fry. I don't know what's funnier about Mom: her butt-like hairdo, her potty mouth ("Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts."), or her hench-sons, Larry, Igner, and Walt.

Which brings us to this week's edition of:

Billy West's take: (Mom)was Tress MacNeille., I loved the characters. I tried out for one of the sons, but I didn't pass muster. (I asked him about the voice of Walt, which sounds a lot like Vincent Price)Yeah, that was Maurice (LaMarche). He was also the Brain in Pinky and the Brain. That was a good show.

And Mo... he's a stunner. There isn't much he can't do and he can pretty much do anything. Funny... And John DiMaggio is a hoot, he cracks me up. And Dave Herman (who voices hench-son Larry) is also extremely funny. He does these voices that you don't hear very often, like Wormstrom, who is Professor Farnsworth's enemy, you know the other professor. "What's the matter now, Farnsworth?" He did a lot of incidental voices. And that's the toughest assignment to have, if you don't have a regular character. It's like very week you've got to figure out how to create a character that's not established.

And there was one more voice in the show: When Mom's sons kidnap Fry and trick them into giving them his PIN code, they tempt him by using "contemporary actress" Pamela Anderson. Well, at least her head. Apparently, she also won an Oscar for the Baywatch movie, the first to be filmed completely in slow motion. Apparently she was there in the studio with DiMaggio, West, and company, as DiMaggio confirms in the DVD commentary. But Billy West went further, as he told me during my interview with him:

BW: Right. (sheepish Fry-like voice) I kissed Pamela Anderson.

JK: You did?

BW: Yeah. I wanted to put my head in her jar.

Anyway, it was funny seeing how much 20th century junk is worth in the future, like that "cute antique robot toy" Fry buys for Bender (Rock-em Sock-em Robots) and Fry's new 20th Century Apartment, complete with asbestos. I also loved the cutaway from Walt speculating that Fry "must be a mastermind of the highest order" to Fry watching Sanford and Son (we hear the tail end of the theme and "Esther, you ugly!". Genius). Oh, and seeing the crazed look in Zoidberg's face after he eats the anchovy-laden pizza bits everyone spits out -- hey, even in 3000, anchovies are a required taste -- and demands "More! MORE!" is the best episode ending I've seen so far.

One note on the DVD commentary on this episode: it seemed like a lot of the commentary consisted of Groening and company laughing at the episode. I hadn't heard a lot of that up until this one; they'd often laugh at each other's jokes, but not at the episode they were seeing. This is a good sign; it tells me that the writing was coming along, and that it's held up enough over the years to even make the people who created the show laugh out loud. If that's not the sign of a fantastic show, I don't know what is.

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Five of the top six summer shows are reality TV;
America's Got Talent is leading but falling

This summer, reality TV is dominating in the ratings. Among 18- to 49-year-olds from June 26 to July 2, "Five of the week's top six programs in adults 18-49 were unscripted" shows, according to Variety.

NBC's America's Got Talent is leading with the most viewers overall, pulling in 11 million the week of June 26. Still, it was down 17 percent from its first week, according to Variety.

Among total viewers, the next most popular shows are So You Think You Can Dance, with about , and then Hell's Kitchen with 8 million viewers. Treasure Hunters pulled in 5.79 million viewers, but was easily beaten by Gordon Ramsay and crew.

'Kitchen' hot on Fox [Variety]

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Five of the top six shows are reality TV;
America's Got Talent is leading but falling

NBC's America's Got Talent is leading with the most viewers overall, pulling in 11 million the week of June 26. Still, it was down 17 percent from its first week, according to Variety.

'Kitchen' hot on Fox [Variety]

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The X-Files: Shadows

Filed under: Science Fiction, FOX, OpEd, Retro Squad, The X-Files

(S01E06) According to The X-Files wiki, this episode was penned with the direction of FOX, which wanted an episode about poltergeists. Luckily, two of the writers for the show (Glen Morgan and James Wong) were fans of the paranormal and we got a very X-Files-style ghost story.

The agents start following Lauren Kyte, after the NSA or CIA call them in for help with two dead bodies that were still hot and twitching, six hours after death. Mulder lies to the feds and starts his own paranormal investigation. At first, it appears that Lauren Kyte may have some sort of special ability to emit electric rays from her body or something. She is connected to several people who have been killed. It turns out that she is being trailed by the ghost of her former boss, Howard Graves. She wakes up one night and finds blood in her bathtub, a message that her boss was murdered. His ghost is protecting her when she gets attacked at an ATM and then when her new boss sends thugs to her house to kill her.

Mulder finally gets Lauren to crack when he tells her he knows that Howard Graves' ghost is with her. Surprisingly, Scully is the one who gets Lauren to tell them about why her boss was murdered. The feds raid Lauren's old workplace to find evidence that the company did work with terrorists. Graves' ghost turns the boss' office into a whirlwind of papers and points Mulder and Lauren to the computer disk with proof that the company did work for terrorists.

There's a nod to Tom Braidwood early in the episode. His name is the one that was going to replace Howard Graves' name on the parking space. Who is Tom Braidwood, you ask? Well, early in the show he was a directorial assistant but later on he played Frohike, one of The Lone Gunmen.

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