Priscilla is 14 and ready to get married, but there are others who are hoping to outshine her on the TLC series.
Kat was devastated after being voted off of Survivor One World based on her facial expression and sobbing as she walked away from Tribal Council, but that's nothing compared to her trip to Ponderosa, as documented on CBS' web series. During the parts when she stops crying long enough to be understandable, Kat alternates between bewilderment ("Why me? What did I do?") and building herself back up ("That's going down in history!"). There's also the... keep reading »
Peyton Manning hosted "Saturday Night Live" in 2007 and he was excellent. This was surprising. Athletes are usually not very good at hosting sketch comedy shows. (Apparently, when growing up, between those long summer two-a-days, athletes aren't trained on the finer points of hosting "SNL," you know, just in case.) But, Peyton Manning, for whatever reason, was terrific. This weekend, it was his brother Eli's turn, who can't just pass on his sibling's grades because life doesn't work like the movie "License to Drive." How was Eli? Alas, Eli wasn't as good as Peyton, but he certainly wasn't terrible. Let's go with the word "serviceable" for Manning -- a word that's a bit too strong when describing the overall quality of this week's show. (Also: I'm quite surprised that "Battleship" actor Rihanna didn't wind up in a sketch along the way.) Let's get to the Scorecard, shall we?
Sketch of the Night
"Text Message Evidence" (Jason Sudeikis, Eli Manning, Abby Elliott, Bill Hader) Emoticons. Any sketch in which Eli Manning has to say the sentence, "The banana is larger," in relation to his own penis, deserves accolades. What makes this funny is that if you put the average single male on trial, this would probably be an accurate representation of his text message transcripts on any given weekend night. "You out?" "You out?" "You out"?
"Little Brothers" (Eli Manning, Andy Samberg) Shades of Peyton Manning's 2007 "United Way" sketch, only amped up few notches on the "dark" scale. Eli Manning helps younger brothers defend themselves from their older siblings and, obviously, Eli has some relatable emotions of his own. (No, seriously, I don't think that was 100 percent acting. Though, that second Super Bowl win has to help, right? )
"Amazon Mother's Day Ad" (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Vanessa Bayer, Taran Killam, Nasim Pedrad) The one in which the kids learn that, yes, moms masturbate, too. Especially when they're reading "50 Shades of Grey." If I learned anything from this sketch, it's that I now know what my mom will not be getting for Mother's Day.
"Motion Capture" (Eli Manning, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Taran Killam, Jay Pharoah, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg) It was nice to see Killam's Tim Tebow make a return appearance, short lived though it was. I have to admit, this was going pretty much nowhere until Manning "threw the grenade" and emitted the saddest yelp that an NFL player has ever made. I laughed embarrassingly loud at that, I'll admit. After, that, Manning hit quite the groove, which shifted the whole sketch into another, much better, gear.
"Cold Open: Fox and Friends" (Taran Killam, Vanessa Bayer, Bobby Moynihan, Fred Armisen) The "Fox and Friends" sketches are tough because the jokes aren't that far off from the real thing. Though, I can't help but laugh at any reference to Garth Brooks' alter ego, Chris Gaines, even if it's buried in the corrections. (Unfortunately, this led me down an Internet rabbit hole that ended at a Chris Gaines website that inexplicably still exists. Which means that in 1999, at least one person was really looking forward to that proposed Chris Gaines movie.) Regardless, this seemed like a bit of a wasted opportunity to really go after Rupert Murdoch. Actually, the state of Wisconsin seemed to have more jabs thrown at it tonight then Murdoch (with one in the corrections and one in "Update." Poor Wisconsin).
"What Is This?" (Abby Elliott, Eli Manning, Vanessa Bayer, Bill Hader) I'll admit, I really liked this concept. But the execution just wasn't there, unfortunately. It's hard to blame Manning for a sketch because, you know, he's a quarterback and all, but he's probably the reason this doesn't work. The sketch needed an actor who could match Elliott's desperation. I hope they try this again at some point with a lead that's more up for the task.
"Eli Manning Monologue" (Eli Manning, Vanessa Bayer, Bobby Moynihan, Kate McKinnon, Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson, Nasim Pedrad) As stated, athletes should probably be judged on a different scale -- especially the monologue. And, yes, Manning spoke over the applause a couple of times, but he was ... fine. The "questions from the audience" monologue really is the go to "We have no idea what else to do with this guy" monologue. So it's hard to blame Manning here, but there wasn't much memorable or original about his "I'm a real New Yorker, go to Olive Garden" jokes.
"Helga Lately" (Kate McKinnon, Taran Killam, Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson, Fred Armisen, Nasim Pedrad, Vanessa Bayer, Abby Elliott) This took balls. If there were a ranking for "ballsiest sketch of the night," boy, this would sure be it. But the truth is, no matter how much I respect this sketch, it was just really hard to sit through. (And I might hate seeing those impressions of the Kardashians more than I do seeing the real thing.)
"TCM Cheech & Chong" (Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, Eli Manning, Bill Hader) Good grief, this just wasn't as funny as it should have been. In the past, these TCM sketches have been fairly great -- especially "The Wizard of Oz" entry. I mean, the joke here is that Manning's character doesn't like the pot and, at the beginning of each movie, asks to be let out of Cheech and Chong's car. OK, then? I mean, that seems reasonable. If I had a category for "most reasonable sketch of the night," boy, this would be it. Alas.
"Herb Welch: Occupy Movement" (Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Nasim Pedrad, Eli Manning, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Vanessa Bayer) This was by far the worst entry of the previously funny Herb Welch canon. The jokes have always been the same, but it's just that there were so many lack of laughs this time around, that became the only takeaway. And there should have been plenty to skewer, considering the Occupy Wall Street subject matter, but, alas, I found myself thinking, "C'mon, Herb. Just fake your death already so this sketch can mercifully end."
"Weekend Update" (Seth Meyers, Kristen Wiig, Sacha Baron Cohen) I'm sorry, I know we're all supposed to pretend that Sacha Baron Cohen is an actual dictator named General Aladeen. But, he's not. (And thankfully, in the "Good Nights," Manning didn't play this little game, either.) He's promoting a movie, which is fine, I suppose, but it kind of brought "Update" to a screeching halt for the sake of this promotion. (Anyway, it's nice to see Martin Scorsese still doing favors for one of the stars of his film, "Hugo.") Look, I'm not an advertising wizard (I think that's a proper title), but I'm not sure anyone is going to watch that, then say, "I need to see that movie." Also, as the clock ticks on Kristen Wiig's time on "SNL," it's nice to see the Greatest Hits tour be put on hold for a new character, the Tanning Mom, which was the highlight of "Update." Unfortunately, this week, that isn't saying a lot.
"Miss Drag World" (Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, Taryn Manning, Bobby Moynihan, Fred Armisen) "Hey! Wouldn't it be funny if we put Eli Manning in a dress?" I have little doubt that this was a large reason that this sketch made it to air. You see, a star athlete in drag is "comedy gold." Oh, wait, no ... it's cheap garbage. (Sorry, I haven't had any caffeine yet this morning and I'm cranky.) You know, these are the kind of sketches one expects when an athlete hosts -- almost as if the athlete thought of it himself. But Manning was better than this. Seriously, "SNL," save this kind of stuff for when Michael Phelps hosts again this fall.
Average Score for this Show: 5.28
· Jimmy Fallon 6.17
· Zooey Deschanel 6.08
· Maya Rudolph 6.05
· Jason Segel 6.05
· Charlie Day 6.00
· Josh Brolin 5.99
· Steve Buscemi 5.95
· Emma Stone 5.85
· Alec Baldwin 5.80
· Charles Barkley 5.65
· Sofia Vergara 5.58
· Melissa McCarthy 5.45
· Jonah Hill 5.44
· Daniel Radcliffe 5.39
· Eli Manning 5.28
· Channing Tatum 5.27
· Ben Stiller 5.18
· Lindsay Lohan 5.13
· Katy Perry 5.09
· Anna Faris 4.95
You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.
For Sunday, May 6th 2012 LA TV Insider Examiner recommends: Once Upon A Time (ABC, 8pm) – "An Apple Red as Blood" – Henry (Jared Gilmore) pleads with Emma (Jennifer Morrison) to stay in Storybrooke and...
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"Cougar Town" could be picked up by TBS if the struggling Courteney Cox-led comedy is canceled by ABC, Deadline reports. TBS has been in "preliminary talks" with "Cougar Town's" production company, ABC Studios, about possibly acquiring acquiring the show if ABC decides to give it the axe after a season of mediocre ratings.
The fate of "Cougar Town" has been up in the air for months after ABC pulled the show from its midseason schedule in November and cut its Season 3 episode order from 22 to 15 episodes. The show returned in February, but the ratings have remained "meh" despite creator Bill Lawrence's best promotional efforts, which have included a social media campaign, a cameo offensive that included a "Scrubs" reunion, and various fan outreach events.
The idea that a cable network could pick up a network show in the middle of its run is not unprecedented. The gritty cop drama "Southland" was canceled by NBC after two seasons only to be given new life on TNT, another Turner Networks channel. It was recently renewed for a fifth season.
Don't worry, the following piece does not contain spoilers for "The Avengers," which you really should see soon.
There's a cloud to the silver lining of "The Avengers'" record-setting success: We've probably lost its screenwriter and director Joss Whedon to the movies forever.
A $200 million opening weekend. Wow. We're a long way from Sunnydale. But we're really not, in some ways.
For devoted followers of Whedon's TV shows, the success of this extremely enjoyable movie is all the more sweet. Everyone who's ever championed Whedon's work to uncomprehending or wary non-Whedonites probably spent half this weekend saying (if only in our heads): "See? I told you he was a frakkin' genius!"
Not only is the insane success of the movie something to revel in, but the film itself is a celebration of everything we ever loved about Whedon's small-screen work. The things that he did really well in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Angel," "Dollhouse," "Firefly" and "Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" are the things he did very well in "The Avengers." You'll forgive us TV aficionados for claiming the movie's success as the triumph of a sensibility we knew was special from 1997 (when "Buffy" debuted) to 2010 (when "Dollhouse" ended).
If you've seen Whedon's shows, you know that he excels at creating mismatched groups that haltingly form ad-hoc families -- fractured families with lots of internal tensions, of course. Most shows (and movies) have enough trouble creating just one or two compelling characters, but in Whedon's work, there are usually a half dozen characters, each with his or her own baggage and agenda. The ways in which each person works out their personal issues and comes into conflict with, or assists in, the mission of the group as a whole -- well, those kinds of rich, knotty dynamics drove the best episodes and arcs in the Whedon canon.
What Whedon proved with the Marvel movie is that he has such refined skills in this arena that he can line up an array conflicting and ultimately aligning agendas in a couple of hours, as opposed to a full season of television.
Sure, it helps that the Marvel heroes were exceptionally well cast and the previous films did a fair amount of heavy lifting in terms of fleshing out their personalities, but "The Avengers," for all its exultant clobbering time, actually deepened most of the characters in important and exciting ways. That's where Whedon's other area of expertise came into play: He makes us relate to the specially chosen and the superpowered because he shows them experiencing self-doubt, self-loathing and fear.
It's astonishing that Whedon was able to do this in two and a half hours, but he managed to make us care about the dilemmas of half a dozen superheroes, not to mention those of Loki, whom Tom Hiddleston and the script managed to make both theatrically imperious and tragically misguided. I won't go into details, for fear of spoiling the movie for those who haven't seen it, but suffice to say, each superhero has real reason to either fear their own powers or be wary of working with the group. And one of my favorite moments of the smashy-smashy final sequence shows one of the heroes looking tired and a little bit overcome.
Yes, these men and women are exalted and special, but they're vulnerable too. That's what makes us love them, and Whedon has always understood that.
It's their reluctance -- the kind of reluctance exhibited by every major Whedon character -- that makes their sacrifices all the more meaningful. It's easy to be on a character's side when we know what their choices have cost them, and what flaws they had to overcome to make a meaningful contribution to the Big Plan for Battling Evil. We can't relate to being indestructible or unspeakably powerful (though of course, these movies tap into those aspirations), but we all know what it's like to have doubts about our own abilities, to fear letting people down and to wonder whether we can trust other people (especially others who appear to be every bit as flawed as ourselves).
For all that, once it gets past some setup and exposition in the early going, "The Avengers" is a joyful, funny movie, one that shows a fan's exuberance as it improbably but successfully turns superheroes into underdogs. What's going to drive this movie's repeat business (and having polled dozens of friends in the past two days, I've got a feeling the repeat business is going to be insane) is that it's amusing to watch these people interact; movie executives may think we just want stuff to blow up real good, but we'd much rather have a lot of crisp banter, well-timed dollops of psychological shading plus a goodly amount of explosions. Come for the biff-bang-pow; stay (and come back) for Captain America's barbed interactions with Tony Stark.
It's worth noting that Whedon's past as a comic-book nerd and fine comic-book writer ensured that the dialogue and arc for each character felt very specific. These weren't generic spandex wearers; the people on screen were clearly the distilled essences of characters with long, complex histories. Those backstories were so well understood and synthesized by Whedon that he was able to launch the first truly engaging big-screen Hulk and introduce two characters I wasn't familiar with -- Hawkeye and Black Widow -- but who instantly made strong impressions.
As a years-in-the-planning tent-pole film, "The Avengers" was about as commercial a project as could be, and yet, with this film, TV fans got what we have wanted for years: Whedon was left more or less alone to do his thing. Note to entertainment industry (especially clueless television executives): That seems to have gone pretty well.
Power can bring its share of headaches -- that's another constant Whedon theme -- so what will Whedon do with the kind of clout that comes from having "The Avengers" rake in more than half a billion dollars in its first couple of weeks? The mind boggles.
Our Joss Whedon, the man whose brain-bending, word-playing, heartbreaking shows needed constant care, attention and "save this show" campaigns from legions of TV devotees in order to survive, is an entertainment industry superhero now. Will he forget about us? I sure hope not.
My personal hope is that he lets a hundred (or maybe a dozen) Whedons bloom. Let's hope he repays the loyalty of his fans by opening the doors of the entertainment kingdom to the kind of writers and creators who might not get a crack at the big time without his backing. Nobody's done more than Whedon to create and inspire a generation of TV writers; many of the best scribes working today got their start on Whedonverse programs and most of the rest were powerfully influenced by his shows. I hope he throws his weight behind those writers' most impassioned passion projects (as he did with Drew Goddard's twisty "The Cabin in the Woods"), backs those writers' pitches, gets their shows on the air and brings more fine entertainment products to the Web. (Some of that is already in the works, thank goodness.)
Do the weird stuff, unleash the mainstream fare, and please, please, help bring us the kind of dense, serialized, character-driven narratives that truly come alive over seasons of television, not two-and-a-half hour films. So few people know how to execute long, meaningful story arcs really well; if Whedon doesn't help birth those kinds of projects, online or on the small screen, it'll be such a criminal waste. And if Whedon himself deigns to give us a show of his own some day, when he tires of the movie machine, that's cool too, but I'm not holding my breath on that front.
What's more likely -- and possibly even more valuable, at this point -- is for Whedon to become the Judd Apatow of genre entertainment. Apatow, executive producer of "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared," was jerked around by television for a while, but then, he found enormous success as a movie titan by translating his worldview and philosophy into a series of successful films, which are usually written and directed by longtime collaborators and friends from his comedy posse. Maybe Whedon can do the same for challenging TV and movies -- not all of it necessarily horror, supernatural or superhero-related. By doing so, incidentally, Whedon, an avowed feminist, would undoubtedly increase the number of complex, ass-kicking ladies on screen and behind the scenes as well.
The funny thing is, if "The Avengers" had come out 20 years ago, it might not have been as successful as it has been in 2012. Two decades of influence -- some of it traceable back to Whedon, some of it evolving from the visions of other bold and idiosyncratic creators -- have made this moment possible.
For a guy who got kicked around repeatedly by the industry, becoming its new colossus must be a deeply enjoyable irony. Having spent more than 20 years working in the entertainment trenches and helping infect pop culture with a distinctive and subversive worldview, Joss Whedon is having his Moment, the defining experience every hero both dreads and longs for.
Let's hope he slays it.
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Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 1, Episode 4 of HBO's "Girls," entitled, "Hannah's Diary."
It was only a matter of time before Adam sent Hannah a picture of his disgusting junk, but some people really need to learn sexting etiquette. Upon receiving the grossest text message of her life, Hannah responds in the only way that seems apropos: "Oh my god. Oh my god!"
Charlie, of course, has an inappropriate response. "I feel like I can smell it through the phone." Ew. Let's not say things like that, Charlie. It's making whatever sympathy I feel toward you diminish at a rapid pace. However, the fun at Adam's expense doesn't last long because she gets another text -- and sadly, for Hannah, it's not "his asshole wearing a friendship bracelet." Nope. It's much worse.
"SRY that wasn't for you." First of all, like Hannah, I really hate grammatically incorrect text messages. Who doesn't have time to spell "sorry" correctly? It's only two extra letters? Does that really save you that much time? Second of all, what a sleazeball.
Of course, that doesn't stop Hannah from sending Adam an X-rated photo of her boobs, against Marnie's advice. Are Hannah and Marnie actually best friends? Sure, they can have fun dance parties, but do they actually listen to one another? Despite last week's hug, their relationship seems very superficial. Marnie can give Hannah hollow advice, but Hannah doesn't listen. Meanwhile, it doesn't seem like Hannah can offer anything to their friendship -- except for, perhaps, a bath-for-two and the soundtrack.
Meanwhile, at some point -- between Googling "the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms" and dancing to Robyn -- Hannah got a job. Unfortunately, her boss sexually harasses her. Well, not just her ... he does it to all of the ladies in the office.
Speaking of the ladies, Hannah's co-workers are great. While I can't say that penciling Hannah's eyebrows was completely necessary (think Pamela Anderson), I can say that I appreciate these women and their attitudes. They completely condone their boss' inappropriate "massages," yet bash Adam for accidentally sending Hannah a photo of his manhood. Of course, putting up with their boss' naughty behavior means job security -- and an iPod Nano on your birthday -- and "that's a hella different."
With a little encouragement from her sassy co-workers, Hannah decides to break it off with Adam. I'm not quite sure if you can breakup with someone that you were never really seeing, but I'm too proud of Hannah to judge. Of course, being Hannah, she forgives him and then they have sex.
The problem here isn't Adam -- although he is a weirdo. The problem is Hannah. Despite being a writer, Hannah has no clue how to communicate what she wants to Adam. Clearly, she wants him to be her boyfriend, even if she doesn't say it.
Hannah: I'm not asking you for anything. I'm really not asking you for anything. I've never asked you for anything, and I don't even want anything. I respect your right to see and do whoever you want. I don't even want a boyfriend.
Adam: What do you want?
Hannah: I just want someone who wants to hang out all of the time, who thinks I'm the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me. And it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this because it makes me sound like a girl who wants to, like, go to brunch. And I really don't want to go to brunch, and I don't want you to sit on the couch while I shop or even meet my friends. I don't even want that.
Her attraction to Adam's "charm" (Were those bicycle kicks supposed to be charming?) seems to be the main reason she's putting up with all his weirdness. Let's face it: It's not due to the intellectual conversation or amazing sex.
In the end, Hannah let herself be treated like monkey meat without ever questioning it. She wants to feel needed, so she'll put up with Adam's dbag behavior. However, just because they're sleeping together doesn't mean she can count on him for anything real. I mean, he didn't even jerk off to her sext!
Sure, you could have a problem with the show's unbelievability -- and with Hannah's obsession with eating cupcakes in her bathroom -- but this desperate situation is something that a lot of girls can relate to.
Watching Hannah give in to Adam's temptations and second guess her judgement was more painful than watching that awkward couch sex scene in the pilot episode -- because this was real. "I care about you, and I don't want to anymore because it feels too sh---- for me."
Speaking of awkward situations, Shoshanna almost lost her v-card to a cute boy she met at Jewish camp (played by "Spring Awakening" star Skylar Astin). Unfortunately for Shosh, when she told her cute Long Island Jew that she was a virgin, he immediately put the breaks on that hook up, and we were all spared another awkward sex scene.
It was almost as bad as watching Shoshanna struggle to strut in her heels, i.e. watching Bambi learn how to walk. Fact: New York City streets are incredibly uneven. You will fall. It's only a matter of time.
Although, seeing Shosh's face when Matt went down on her was priceless. "Um ... wow ... um ... OK." The ladies can't help you now, Shoshanna.
Meanwhile, Jessa is trying to unionize the nannies after finding out how little they make. Wait, how much money is Jessa making? Or does money just mean nothing to Jessa? I'm inclined to go with the latter, considering that she's mooching off her 22-year-old cousin, who's mooching off her parents.
As for Kathryn Hahn's adorable, yet absurdly privileged kids? Well, little Beatrix and Bella are still adorable. That is, until they intentionally run away. Thankfully, all of the actual nannies mobilize to find them, proving that there are responsible people on this show -- however, none of them are the main characters.
The girls' stoner father looks like he's still in hot pursuit of Jessa, which makes me uneasy. Does every plot line in this entire show have to revolve around sex? Can we not just have one dedicated to growing up?
Ray and Charlie -- who are now a band called Questionable Goods -- are working on their new song. It's pretty much about following a girl in Keds. (The lyrics include: "Where are you going in those Keds?") Unlike Hannah and Marnie, I can actually believe that Ray and Charlie are best friends. Ray is trying to protect his bro, and he thinks he can do better than Marnie. Honestly, he can.
The best line of the episode goes to Ray for his Millennial observation: "It's not adult life if your parents still pay for your Blackberry." That pretty much sums up these girls (who are not yet women).
However, Ray gets sneaky and finds Hannah's diary, and it pretty much details Marnie's diminishing feelings for Charlie. Despite Ray's best attempts to keep it away from Charlie, he reads it anyway. Upon reading her innermost thoughts, Charlie realizes that Marnie wants to break up with him.
In a very public f--- you, Charlie sings Hannah's diary to the very hipster crowd at a very hipster bar in Brooklyn. "What is Marnie thinking?/ Aw-ahh/ She needs to know what's out there/ Aww-ahh/ How does it feel to date a man with a vagina?" Such sweet poetry.
Marnie is mortified, so she throws her drink in Hannah's face and runs after Charlie. Obviously, Marnie has never heard of the phrase "hoes before bros" ... or in this case, ladies before bros with vaginas.
"Girls" airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. ET on HBO.
Want to know where you can catch your favorite Latino stars on TV this summer? We've got you covered!
From highly anticipated remakes ("Dallas") to teen shows ("Secret Life of The American Teenager") and supernatural dramas ("Teen Wolf"), here are the eight hottest summer shows, starring Latinos!
Unlike the well-known stories of Arthur Conan Doyle or any other incarnation of the Sherlock[...]
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