Morning Static: THE BIG BANG THEORY, HOMELAND,
MAD MEN & More!

? MAD MEN at? 35,000 feet! ? Live Long and Laughter, Leonard Nimoy finally agrees to a BIG BANG[...]

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WATCH: Conan Spoofs Lindsay Lohan's 'Today Show'
Interview

With Lindsay Lohan hosting "Saturday Night Live" this weekend, people are talking about whether or not this means a "comeback" for the troubled actress. Except Conan O'Brien, that is. He just can't get over how weird her "Today Show" interview with Matt Lauer was.

You might have seen the interview preview (the full thing airs today, Thursday morning) but Conan got a hold of a different (and confusing) clip which he shared it on his Wednesday night show.

It may not be as juicy as some of her other soundbites, but we think you'll definitely be surprised. Watch above.

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Lindsay Lohan Talks Comeback On 'Today'

Will Lindsay Lohan walk the red carpet at the 2017 Oscars? According to her, yes. Lohan's "Today Show" interview covered everything from her tumultuous few years to hosting this week's "Saturday Night Live" -- and the big comeback she hopes to have now that she has turned over a new leaf.

Lohan, 25, told Matt Lauer in her "Today Show" interview that she's wiser than she once was, attributing her newfound outlook on life to her past experiences, which have included drug busts, theft charges and jail time.

"I think it's this last kind of like whirlwind experiences I've gone through this last year and a half," she said. "I've kind of just taken a step back and and said, 'I'm not doing what I love to do,' and I need a way to kind of find that balance again."

Her last "Today Show" appearance was in 2006, when she was 19 years old, and was promoting a slew of movies.

"I've been very quiet since then," she joked -- something viewers can expect more of on "SNL" -- but admits that she was in some serious denial about some of her personal issues at the time.

"I had to get that wake-up call," she said, adding that she's definitely made some changes in her life since her arrests-- she's reconsidered the people she surrounds herself with, for example.

"I think it gets very lonely in this industry, because you're constantly with people and then you're alone," she said. "So it's kind of [that] I just allowed a lot of people to be around me at all times, and I don't think they were necessarily there for the right reasons, and I wasn't concerned about that."

"I think I was being a bit ignorant toward the fact that maybe I should not go out all the time," she added. "Maybe I should rest, maybe I should start to grow up and take care of myself."

In previous excerpts of her interview, released earlier this week, Lohan said that these days she's more of a homebody than a party girl and that going out to clubs just isn't her thing anymore.

Talking about a comeback at the young age of 25, Lohan admits she's made mistakes, but is grateful to have learned from them.

"I regret the choices that I've made, but I'm grateful for where I am today," she told Lauer. "I don't need to see any more negative stuff. I don't need to put myself in those places anymore."

Later on "Today", Lohan talked about her upcoming "SNL" stint, and said she's game for anything, and that she's checked in with her attorney to make sure everything was okay -- she doesn't want to be disrespectful to her judge, after all, especially when she's so close to completing her probation.

For now, Lohan just wants to focus on her work, including "SNL" and her upcoming role as Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie.

"I'm really honored," Lohan said of the Taylor role. "I will not let anyone down, especially myself."

Today, Lohan knows how lucky she is to be getting movie offers at all, especially after having her former indiscretions played out in tabloids and online.

"I could see where it could be scary for people to invest in me and I don't want people to have that reason to be scared anymore," she said.

By letting go of her past, including her former relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan is hoping to start fresh and not fall into her old habits, which means she's not looking for love at the moment.

"I really want to focus on my work right now," she said. "I really do, and that's the first time ever in my life that I've said that."

For more from Lohan, including a comparison of her 2007 and 2012 interviews, head over to "Today."

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Name That Movie: Children's Book Edition

The Lorax hits theaters this Friday, but long before Danny DeVito was providing the voice for that cute little orange creature, this story by Dr. Seuss book was a favorite childhood story. In honor of the movie, we're quizzing your knowledge on children's books that were translated to film. Let's see what you've got!

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Neil Patrick Harris Shows 'Late Show' A Clip Of
His Toddler Playing The Slots In Vegas

Proud dad Neil Patrick Harris showed off photos of his adorable toddler twins on "Late Show" (Weeknights, 11:35 p.m. EST on CBS) and proved that where parents are concerned, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

Harris recalled a funny thing that happened on the kids' first trip to Las Vegas. Proving that even the smallest ones can have fun there, little Harper was trying out one of the slot machines. However, that's a major no-no, and so casino security appeared within a matter of seconds.

David Letterman played a video clip of the incident and hilariously freeze-framed it just as a female security guard warned that there was a $10,000 fine for letting your kids play the slots. Harper was making a big "Oh!" face.

Harris joked that not only was Harper enjoying the slots, she also liked the free drinks that went with them.

"Late Show With David Letterman" airs Weeknights at 11:35 p.m. EST on CBS.

TV Replay scours the vast television landscape to find the most interesting, amusing, and, on a good day, amazing moments, and delivers them right to your browser.

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Video: Poreotics dance on Tosh.0 segment on
breakdancing and racist mothers

[...]

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Evan Shapiro: Where Do the Huxtables Poop

Have you been watching New Girl? It's a pretty good show. They're funny -- especially Schmidt. She's adorkable. The unresolved sexual tension thing is not bad.

My one knock is this; where the hell are those perky hipsters supposed to be living? Not what city -- although that's an unsolved mystery in its own right (it looks like LA, but I'm convinced they're pretending its Chicago). More specifically, however, what is with that apartment? It's enormous. Even for TV, it's cavernous... four bedrooms and an industrial bathroom, replete with lockers. Obviously, it's meant to be a loft, like this one in Los Angeles. But the 3-bedroom, 1,200 square foot loft listed at that site goes for $3,000 per month. Jess and her roomies have more than twice that much space (in the bathroom alone), a huge terrace, amazing sunlight, roof access and FOUR bedrooms. FOUR.

Let's say Jess' fictional, 2800 sq ft, four-bedroom loft, with tons of sunlight and a terrace, would translate to $4,600 in the real world ($5,000 in Silver Lake, which is undoubtedly where this show wants to be set). Under this assumption, their rent is $55,200-$60,000 per year, before groceries and utilities. Jess is a teacher, and a relatively new one. Nick (her will-they-won't-they partner) is a bartender. True, he wouldn't pay taxes since he earns mostly tips (shh... don't tell the sitcom IRS), but how much can he possibly make? Winston doesn't have a job. It's doubtful he collects unemployment, since his last real job was playing basketball in Latvia. And while Schmidt has some sort of corporate job, he appears to be a glorified gofer. Beyond the question as to whether or not they could find such an apartment (no way), the bigger query is to how the hell they would afford it!?!

This got me thinking... Much is made of the unrealistic body image expectations created by the media. However, much less attention has been given to unrealistic real estate expectations. Unsuspecting young people across the nation turn to TV for a window on the world, unaware of the cruel and inaccurate portrayal of TV rentals and condos. This has left many viewers disillusioned when it comes to moving out of their parents' attic and renting their own place in the real world (and not on The Real World). The Housing TV Bubble does not leave mortgage defaults, but it creates broken dreams.

To cast a spotlight on this issue, I've created a list of the Top 11 Most Outrageous Real Estate Deals in TV History:

1. Monica's Apartment on Friends. At the start of the series, Monica is a moderately unsuccessful chef and Rachel serves coffee. Yet, they have 1,200 square feet and a terrace, in the heart of the Village! True, it's a walk up, but... my first apartment in New York could have fit into their bathroom. According to the interwebs, Monica scammed the apartment in an illegal sublet from her grandma. I might believe that, if even once Monica had to pretend the old lady lived with them. Otherwise, that place would be occupied by an investment banker.
2. The Humphreys' Place on Gossip Girl. Aren't the Humphreys the 'poor people' on the show? (Before Rufus marries Lily.) Rufus is an ex-musician and current gallery owner, and a single dad, mind you, with two kids in private school in Manhattan. Yet his loft, in Williamsburg (or is it Dumbo?) is bigger than both apartments on New Girl and Friends, combined. That's a LOT of art to sell.
3. The Entire Gilligan's Island. One, those huts are larger than many American single family homes -- I think Lovey Howell had a walk-in closet. Two, where's the outhouse? Three, why do Gilligan and Skipper have to share a place, while the Professor gets his own sweet love shack? Last, with a car, a theater, a private lagoon and beachfront property like that, why the hell were they trying so hard to leave? On the other hand, the obvious question is; if they had the engineering acumen to build all that...
4. Hogan's Heroes POW Camp. Once called one of the worst five TV shows of all time, it's the only filmed content ever to make a POW camp look like a Rat Pack Casino. Stalag 13 was like a Third Reich Club Med, with a series of tunnels that allowed Hogan's Eleven to gallivant around Europe like some sort of Roger Moore/F. Scott Fitzgerald hybrid. While they did have to sleep eight to a room, Barracks 2 came with secret compartments, a periscope sink and a seemingly constant poker game. Meanwhile, Hogan used Klink's office, liquor cabinet and able-bodied assistant as his own (on screen and off). Fitting that the last episode doesn't end the war -- as sweet as he had it, Hogan didn't want it to end.
5. Star Trek. Granted, you need a lot of space when you go on a five-year mission. But seriously, in each version of Trek, The Enterprise literally had no end. My problem, however, is not the limitless space, or the teeny-tiny hospital which needed to serve hundreds of crew, or the total lack of signage (how the hell can they tell one hallway from the other?). No, my biggest issue with the Enterprise is the Holodeck (Star Trek: The Next Generation). Are we to believe that in the future, The Federation allows their service people to have a device that satisfies ANY possible fantasy? And, if they did, do we really believe there wouldn't be a constant and endless line of lonely crew members looking to, uh... use it? How would anything get done? If I was Wesley Crusher, I would have LIVED in the Holodeck.
6. The Love Boat. Have you ever been on a cruise? On a real cruise ship, when you're in your cabin, you have to go into the hall to bend over. In the cabins on the Pacific Princess, you could play a three-on-three game of ultimate Frisbee. The better to fit all those Charo outfits in.
7. The Brady Bunch House. My issue here isn't size. Mike's an architect and pulls in a nice living. So I have no doubt he can afford that place. My issue is, with ALL that space, they really made the kids sleep three to a room? Again, he's AN ARCHITECT! It took them 93 episodes to figure out that the attic is usable space?
8. Batman (TV Series). One question: What the hell was happening on those Bat Poles? They hopped on fully clothed and came out the other side in tights. Just sayin'.
9. Nikita's Living Arrangements. This woman is supposedly hiding from a powerful spy agency, with tentacles in every corner of the world. Yet, in each episode, she finds some secluded hideaway, sometimes fully-furnished, always epic in size, without a credit application, co-op board interview or trip to Ikea with Michael. With all that shooting, there's NO WAY she's going to get her security deposit back.
10. Cartman's House on South Park. Is it just me, or do the Cartmans have an awful lot of space for two people and a cat? That's a pretty big house they have there. Cartman's mom may be a slut, but how can she afford the mortgage and taxes on that place? Plus, with a separate garage, who shovels that driveway?
11. Multi-Camera Sitcoms. There must be a template somewhere, created by TV architects (maybe Mike Brady?), which seemingly all sitcom homes must follow. They almost always have one great room in an 'open-plan' design, where the front door opens into the room and the living and dining rooms coincide. They never have a bathroom on the first floor -- or, if there is, no one EVER uses it. The Huxtables had tons of space, but seriously, ask yourself: where the heck did Dr. Huxtable poop? Clearly TV zoning only allows for slight variances to this design (The Middle and Raising Hope live in the simpler ranch version). But just once, in between pat punch lines, I'd like to hear a flush.

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How Television Made Davy Jones A Star

LOS ANGELES -- Before there was MTV, before "American Idol" made overnight stars of people you never heard of, there was "The Monkees," a band fronted by a diminutive singer named Davy Jones who was so boyishly good looking that teenage girls swooned the first time they ever saw him.

That was at the end of the summer of 1966, when Jones and his three Monkee cohorts, Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork and Micky Dolenz, arrived on weekly television, portraying a carbon copy of another band called the Beatles.

Each Monday night for the next two years, people would tune into NBC to see the comical trials and tribulations of four young musicians who tooled around in a tricked-out car called the Monkeemobile. When they weren't introducing two or three new songs per show, they would be busy rescuing damsels in distress or being chased by bumbling outlaws in a comical display of slapstick that has sometimes been compared to the work of the Marx Brothers.

Although all four members handled the lead vocals during their music videos, it was Jones, the onetime child star of the British musical stage, who quickly became the group's heartthrob. With his boyish good looks and endearing British accent augmented by a strong, Broadway-trained singing voice, it was a role he would play for the rest of his life.

Jones died Wednesday of a heart attack near his home in Indiantown, Fla., just months after he, Tork and Dolenz had completed a tour marking The Monkees' 45th anniversary. He was 66.

The Monkees had been created to cash in on the Beatles' popularity, and although they never came close to achieving the critical stature of their counterparts, they did carve out a permanent niche in music as what Rolling Stone's Encyclopedia of Rock `n' Roll has called "the first and perhaps the best of the `60s and `70s prefabricated pop groups."

Their songs were melodic, catchy, and many have endured over the years. The first two they released, "Last Train to Clarksville" and "I'm a Believer," became No. 1 hits. So did "Daydream Believer," on which Jones sang the lead and which Dolenz told The Associated Press four years ago remains the Monkees' most requested song at concerts.

"Of the four actors they hired, Davy Jones was by far the most accomplished as a singer and as a performer. He was really the perfect choice," said Rich Podolsky, author of a biography of Don Kirshner, who was "The Monkees" TV show's musical director.

Born in Manchester, England, on Dec. 30, 1945, Jones had been a child star in his native country, appearing on television and stage, including a heralded role as "The Artful Dodger" in a London production of the play "Oliver."

When the show came to Broadway, he earned a Tony nomination at age 16 for the role, a success that brought him to the attention of Columbia Pictures/Screen Gems Television, which created "The Monkees."

Hundreds of musician-actors turned out for the auditions, but the young men who became the Monkees had no idea what ultimately awaited them.

"They had an ad in the newspaper," Jones recalled on NBC's "Today Show" last year, "and then we all showed up."

When they put him together with Tork, Dolenz and Nesmith, the chemistry was obvious.

"That's it," he recalled everyone around him saying: "Magic."

At 5-feet-3 inches, he was by far the shortest member of the group – a fact often made light of on the show. But he also was its dreamboat, mirroring Paul McCartney's role in the Beatles. And as the only Briton among the four, Jones was in some ways the Monkees' direct connection to the Beatlemania still strong in the U.S. when the TV show made its debut.

In August 1966, the Beatles performed in San Francisco, playing their last live set for a paying audience. The same month, the Monkees released their first album, introducing the group to the world. The show would debut the following month.

It was a shrewd case of cross-platform promotion. As David Bianculli noted in his "Dictionary of Teleliteracy," "The show's self-contained music videos, clear forerunners of MTV, propelled the group's first seven singles to enviable positions of the pop charts: three number ones, two number twos, two number threes."

The Monkees would soon come under fire from music critics, however, when it was learned that session musicians – and not the group's members – had played the instruments on their recordings. They were derided as the "Prefab Four," an insulting comparison to the Beatles' nickname, the "Fab Four."

In reality, Jones could play the drums and guitar. Although Dolenz, the group's drummer on the show, only learned to play that instrument after he joined the Monkees, he also could play guitar.

Nesmith played guitar and wrote numerous songs, both for the Monkees and others. Tork, who played bass and keyboards on the TV show, was a multi-instrumentalist.

The group eventually prevailed over the show's producers, including Kirchner, and began to play their own instruments. Regardless, they were supported by enviable talent.

Carole King and Gerry Goffin wrote "Pleasant Valley Sunday," and Neil Diamond penned "I'm a Believer." Musicians who played on their records included Billy Preston, who later played with the Beatles, Glen Campbell, Leon Russell and Ry Cooder.

If the critics didn't initially like them, the group's members had admirers among their fellow musicians.

"The Monkees were such a sensation that it was a thrill for me to have them record some of my early songs," Neil Young tweeted Wednesday.

Frank Zappa even appeared on an episode of the show, disguised as Nesmith for a bit in which he pretended to interview Nesmith, who was disguised as Zappa.

Jimi Hendrix opened for the group during part of its 1967 concert tour. He left early, however, in part because fans kept chanting Jones' name during his sets.

Eventually, even the critics would come around, with Rolling Stone's rock encyclopedia acknowledging that the Monkees made "some exceptionally good pop records."

After the TV show ended, Jones continued to tour with the group for a time, sometimes playing the drums at concerts when Dolenz came up front to sing.

"He was one of the funniest men and most talented I have ever known," Tork said in an interview Wednesday night.

Although the group would eventually break up over creative differences, it would reunite periodically over the years for brief tours, usually without Nesmith.

In 1987, Jones, Tork, and Dolenz reformed to record the album, "Pool It," and in 1996 all four of the Monkees got back together for the album "Justus" and a TV movie "Hey, Hey, It's The Monkees!" The film, directed by Nesmith, featured them once again tooling around in the Monkeemobile.

"David's spirit and soul live well in my heart, among all the lovely people," Nesmith said in a statement Wednesday.

For "Justus," the quartet's last recording, the four made a point of playing every instrument themselves, in part to prove that they could.

Although the Monkees received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1989, one honor that has eluded the group was induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. For years, supporters have circulated petitions demanding that the group be included.

Jones, meanwhile, continued to perform, both with and without the Monkees. In recent years, he appeared from time to time on television and stage, as well as in concert with a band of his own.

It was on the stage, he said, that he truly felt comfortable.

"Even today, I have an inferiority complex," he told the Daily Mail in an interview last year. "I always feel I'm there at the window, looking in. Except when I'm on stage, and then I really come alive."

He is survived by his wife, Jessica Pacheco, and four daughters from previous marriages.

___

Contributing to this report were Associated Press writers Matt Sedensky, Nekesa Mumbi Moody, Frazier Moore and Hillel Italie.

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Video: ReQuest Dance Crew - "Play"

[...]

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Cook cast in NBC pilot Next Caller Please

Cook Article source: http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118050897.html?cmpid=RSS|News|TVNews

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