New TV on DVD releases this week

Filed under: TV on DVD, Reality-Free

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

• American Idol - Season 6 Finale
• The Chase - Season 1
• Drawn Together - Season 3 Uncensored
• Galaxy Rangers - The Collection: Vol. 1
• Garfield and His Friends - A Cat and His Nerd
• The Incredible Hulk Returns and The Trial of The Incredible Hulk
• Lovejoy - Season 3
• The Magnificent Seven - Complete Series
• Mission: Impossible - Season 4
• The Rat Patrol - Complete Series
• Saturday Night Live - Season 3
• Sinatra (mini-series)
• Stargate: Infinity - Complete Series
• Two and a Half Men - Season 3

 

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Talk Talk: Jimmy Fallon, Clay Aiken, Dr. Mehmet
Oz

Filed under: Late Night, TV Royalty, Programming, Celebrities, Talk Show, Reality-Free

Here's who's on the late night shows tonight.

• Charlie Rose: Randi Weingarten
• The Daily Show: Matt Taibbi
• The Colbert Report: Dr. Mehmet Oz
• The Late Show with David Letterman: Shia LaBeouf and N.E.R.D.
• Jay Leno: Jack Black and Clay Aiken
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: Robert Downey Jr. and Lyfe Jennings (repeat)
• Tavis Smiley: Kelsey Grammer and Senator Harry Reid
• Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Jimmy Fallon, William Shatner, and Gary Vaynerchuck
• The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: John Stamos, Judith Smith-Levin, and Jaymay
• Last Call with Carson Daly: Rob Corddry

 

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It's time to intensify Operation: Renew
Moonlight!

Filed under: Cancellations, Moonlight, Reality-Free

As a fan of the CBS series Moonlight, I've been keeping an eye on news about the show lately to know if it would be renewed or not. Lately, most articles made me optimistic since they said that the show had a good chance of getting a second season. Actually, some people said it was almost a done deal because the CBS Friday night lineup was doing very well. But, as people keeping tabs on the upfronts know, things can change in a split second.

Continue reading It's time to intensify Operation: Renew Moonlight!

 

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The Bachelor Finale: Who's Getting A Ring Tonight

I have a confession to make: this season of The Bachelor has me hooked. Normally it's a guilty pleasure that I only watch passively but this year has been different ? mostly because of the bachelor himself.

Matt is a financier from London who is educated, athletic, charming, has an accent (obvs) and seems genuinely close to his tight-knit family. On occasion, he has convinced me that he's in this thing to find a wife he truly loves, despite full knowledge that this process has a terrible track record in the soul mate department.

Now he's whittled down his bevy of beauties to two women, and the previews suggest that he really will get down on one knee and ask one of them to marry him tonight. However deeply the feelings run between these reality TV stars is kinda beside the point. Those of us who have committed to the show expect a bended knee and a diamond and kissing in the end and it looks like Matt is going to deliver all of this tonight.

To see my thoughts on Matt's prospective brides-to-be and who I'm guessing he'll choose,

read more

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The Upfronts: NBC

Filed under: Industry, Programming, Upfronts, Reality-Free

Actually, NBC already had its upfront over a month ago. This is a "spotlight event," a Part 2, if you will (a walk-thru set up at 30 Rock for advertisers and the media), but they did make some interesting announcements today.

This biggest announcement (though hardly a surprise at this point) was that Jimmy Fallon will take over on Late Night when Conan O'Brien takes over for Jay Leno. This will happen next year.

Here are some of the other announcements made at today's even and a recap of the new shows and the shows that have been canceled. And in this post, I promise not to fail you, rainbow chicken.

Continue reading The Upfronts: NBC

 

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More Hot Rumors For Upfront Week

Consensus has it that "Eli Stone" is coming back to ABC, though I can't understand why. "October Road" is dead. Sources disagree on "Women's Murder Club," though given the title... CBS is expected to bring back "The Unit." Still no...

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What's On Tonight: American Gladiators, Bones,
Samantha Who, The Hills

Filed under: Programming, What To Watch Tonight, Reality-Free

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by a new episode of Samantha Who? and the season finale of The Bachelor.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has a new, two hour American Gladiators at 8, then a new Medium.
• FOX has new episodes of Bones and House.
• The CW has a new Gossip Girl at 8, followed by a new One Tree Hill.
• There's a new Antiques Roadshow on PBS at 8.
• TNT has another NBA Playoff game at 8.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• Discovery has a new Dirty Jobs at 9.
• GSN has a new World Poker Tour, also at 9.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
• MTV has a new episode of The Hills at 10, then a new episode of The Paper.
• HBO has a new Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

 

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Rock The Cradle: The Neverending, Insufferable
Finale

If you thought last week's episode was like a gallon of mustard on a teency soft pretzel, then you probably couldn't force yourself to sit through the final episode of Rock The Cradle. What I'm trying to say is that this grand finale was approximately 60 times as long as it needed to be, and included the trifecta of unbearable music competition show fillers: Medleys, Special Performances, and, worst of all, Memories. Oh, the memories. You know, this show was only on for 6 weeks. So there's really no need for any memory refreshers to clarify the arc of this saga. But Rock The Cradle would be nothing without its video packages, and so in its final hour we must endure one helluva review session. It sort of feels like when you're at a party, and someone is telling you a really boring and long-winded story about people you don't know or care about, and just when they are about to get to the punchline, thereby freeing you to go use the bathroom or get another drink, some friend of theirs drops into the conversation and asks, "Wait, what were you guys talking about?" And thus you must stand there for another 10 minutes and listen to the whole story from the very beginning just because some asshole doesn't appreciate how valuable your time is. MTV, you're that asshole at that party. And because of you, I missed the last batch of margaritas and now I've got to make a drink out of what's left on the table: gin, diet coke, and Kahlua. Who the hell brought Kahlua anyway?[Hey guys, see what I've done there? I've found a way to cram this recap full of nonsense to stretch it out. If MTV can use filler, so can I.]We begin this show with a lineup of the remaining contestants. This is the first of roughly 16 lineups during this episode. Remember who the contestants are? You do? Oh, well just in case, here they are again.

'CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER. THRILLER NIGHT.

Nothing says big dramatic final episode like a fog machine, eh folks? With the contestants before us, host Crispy McPoptart gives us a rundown of the Big Three. "Crosby Loggins is talented, but puts on a snoozefest of a performance. Jesse Blaze is so rock and roll it hurts. And Chloe Lattanzi is dark and mysterious." And Chloe thinks her description is just hil-aaaaa-ri-ous.

SEE? I CAN BE FUN.

And now it's time for The Medley. Now, shows like American Idol would probably have made all three of the contestants perform together and sing a song about peace or something. But Rock The Cradle lets them sing whatever the hell they want. For 15 seconds a piece. In this corner we have Crosby Loggins singing The Raconteurs' "Steady As She Goes."

RELAXED PLAID

And in this corner, we have Chloe Lattanzi singing "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"

SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO? YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

3. 2. 1. Now it's time for Jesse Blaze Snider. Aaaaaand go!

THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU EVER SEE THIS CHEST, FOLKS.

Trying to remind us all that Jesse is not fake punk, he performs Good Charlotte's "The Anthem." Wow, yeah, you are bad to the bone, Jesse B. I think it would have been far more interesting if every contestant sang their song at the exact same time, competing to be the loudest. Ok, so that's done. Now what?Let's line em all up again. Yep. There they are. Now, say their names again, host Dippin Dotty. Crosby, Chloe, Jesse.

NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER

Great, NOW WHAT?"I've got an idea," says our wee little host. "Let's watch my acting reel. You know, in case any casting agents or directors are watching. I think I'd be great on One Tree Hill."

I COULD PASS FOR 15, 16, RIGHT?

The audience falls silent. The judges shift uncomfortably in their chairs. "No? Ok well never mind I was just kidding. Ladies and gentlemen, how about another round of applause for our 3 finalists!" "And let's not forget our panel of fabulous judges! A round of applause for them as well."

NOBODY CARES

Ok, I hate to ask this, but NOW WHAT?"Uh... let's talk about all of the contestants who were already voted off the show."Really? I mean, that's kind of irrelevant at this point, isn't it?

"We've got an hour to kill here. Do you have any better ideas?"

No, I guess not.Now, I could attempt to discuss the Memories portion of the show, but basically, we reviewed the order that each contestant was sent home.1. Jesse Money2. A'Keiba Hammer3. Landon Brown and Lil' B. Sure4. Lara Johnston and Lucy WalshAnd all of the contestants are back to cheer on the remaining three in the big finale.

LOSERS

Among them, of course, is Lucy Walsh. To everyone's surprise, she was sent home in the previous week. Her final words before departing: "If you were going to vote for me, vote for Jesse Blaze Snider instead." This week, Lucy gives her simple explanation for her endorsement. "Jesse Snider's my best friend...that's why."

ALSO, WE'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER.

Let's do another line up. Check in with the contestants. You guys still there?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MOVE THINGS ALONG PLEASE.

And now we've reached the portion of the show where the contestants give us a Special Performance. "They're pulling out all the stops and singing...the same songs they sang a few episodes back."Wait, really?"Yes, the same exact songs. Their parents' hits. Only this time, they're singing them WITH THEIR PARENTS. Ta-da!"First we have Jesse Blaze Snider and dad Dee Snider singing "We're Not Gonna Take It." Although, really, Jesse sings pretty much the whole thing before Dad strolls out at the end and sings the hook a few times.

SORRY I'M LATE, KID. I WAS FIXING MY HAIR.

Next up is Chloe with mom Olivia Newton John. And oh look, that stupid throne is back.

CHLOE, DARLING, MUMMY'S A LITTLE WEIRDED OUT.

They re-sang Chloe's version of "I Honestly Love You." Olivia just sang "ooooo" while sitting uncomfortable in the throne. I'm wondering if she forgot the words or if she was distracted by her daughter, who was writhing around on the floor, burying herself in fake fog. And then finally Crosby and dad Kenny Loggins took to the stage to sing "I'm Alright." Of the three performances, this one had the most parental involvement. Kenny sang practically the whole time, and kept drowning out his son with his loud "YYYYYYYeaaaaah!"s.

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, BOY

Now that that's over with, can we please get rid of someone?"Not until we line up the contestants again and say their names."

CAN WE HURRY THIS UP? I'VE GOT SOMETHING AT 10:30.

Crosby, Chloe, Jesse. Jesse, Chloe, Crosby. Chloe, Jesse ,Crosby. Crosby, you improved your performance this season. Chloe, you learned to lighten up. Jesse, you tried to keep your ego in check. Yaddi yaddi yadda. Dramatic pause.And BAM Chloe you are outta here!

"YOU LOOK BUMMED, DO YOU WANT A HUG?" "NO, THAT'S OK."

Chloe gives us some final words of wisdom. "Just be yourself, be unique." And then host Weenie Wompster asks mom Olivia what she thinks of Chloe's performance during the season. "I think she is a wonderful person and so talented." What else would a mom say?

I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING PAID FOR THIS.

Are we done yet, Weenie Wompster?

"Look, I'm driving this bus and we stop when I say we stop. Got it?"

Fine. So what's up next? A dance off? An Iron Chef challenge?"I've got a better, more original, not at all painfully boring idea. Lets have Crosby and Jesse each sing another song!"For crying out loud.First is Jesse Blaze, who has done all manner of offensive covers this season. And for his big finish, he'll do a cover of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Ah, Jesse, I see your point. True rock and roll should be gimmicky and obnoxious!

WORST CAMERA ANGLE EVER

On a stage full of bored-looking dancing girls, Jesse struts around and strips down to his worst shirt-less concoction yet: The Bare-Chested Neck Tie.

BUT WHERE DO YOU CLIP YOUR NAME TAG?

After Jesse, Crosby takes the stage to perform. So, Crosby sings and plays guitar. Yaddi yadda. What more can I say about him at this point?

ROCKIN THE SUBURBS

Ok, Shimmy Shakes, is there anything else you'd like to do? Or can we just get on with the show and name the winner?

"Hmmm, I'm out of ideas."

Thank heavens."Before I announce the winner, can I just line them up first and say their names a few times?"Be my guest.

CROSBY, JESSE. JESSE CROSBY. CROSBY JESSE. JESSE CROSBY.

"Ok there, I'm done. And the winner is....Crosby!"

HOLY CRAP

I can't believe that boring ol' Crosby is the winner! Sure, I started off loving the guy for being such a sweetheart. But then by the third time I suffered through one of his lackluster performances and awkward stage strut, I was all about Mr. Charisma, Jesse Blaze.But I imagine that we haven't seen the last of Jesse. He'll for sure be making an appearance on TRL, if he hasn't already. I'm too old and lame to watch that show. Or know when it airs. Is that even on any more?

FAKE HUGS

Anyway, so all of the old contestants rush to the stage to congratulate their pal Crosby. And we've done it, Rudy von Sprinkleton. We've found a way to stretch this show to the limits. We've only got a few minutes left. Should we just call it quits a little early?"NO! Let's just have Crosby sing one of his captivating original songs."You know what, fine. I'm too weak to fight any more.Take us home, Croz. You're the man of the insanely long hour.

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Webisodes Set For "The Office," "Heroes"

The other networks are announcing their falls schedules this week. NBC shot their wad a few weeks ago, but they're still trying to get their share of press today with the Jimmy Fallon announcement and the Ryan Seacrest announcement. They're...

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Another Two Bite The Dust: October Road And
Women's Murder Club

ABC officially canceled October Road and Women's Murder Club, but managed to pick up a new series, Life On Mars. I never watched either show, but always sad to see people lose their jobs. Carry on...

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